At NICU

While Faris was in the NICU, I saw and met so many parents with such painful battles on their hands.
Like us, they had to stand idly by and watch their baby fight for their life.

We saw a premature baby, born at 28 weeks.
So tiny and translucent.
Fragile.
The anguish on the father's face (who spoke very little English) was obvious.
The mother was battling her own battles post-op.

On the day Faris was set to leave the NICU after 13 days,
a baby was wheeled in in an incubator,
no breath, no pulse.
But doctors won't give up.
The father was strong.
Amidst tears and visible anguish, he still opened the door for me,
with Faris sleeping in my arms, as the nurse wheeled me out in the wheelchair.
Such courage.

During Faris' stay at the NICU, I befriended the nurses.
I took interest in the stories of each tiny souls in the incubators and the bassinets.
One in particular was Anna Mirsha.

The day after Faris was born, it was Anna's 120th day in this world.
And in NICU.
She has never left the NICU.
Complications at birth, I was told.

She had to be fed via tubes through her nostrils.
The air around her bassinet needed to be purified (if I'm not mistaken) every few hours.
A paediatrician would come every morning and evening, turn Anna on her stomach, and patted it with some sort of cup.
It's like physiotherapy, they said.

Oh my, but she was gorgeous.
Adorable.
Everytime I hear Sound of Music's Favourite Things, I think of her.
She had this toy that plays that song.
The nurses would pull on it to lull her to sleep.

I was thinking about Faris' time in the NICU last night.
And then I thought of Anna.
By a rough calculation, she'd turn one some time ago.

Happy Birthday, Anna Mirsha.

I wonder how she's doing?

Anis

Long Read

A few days ago,
after approximately 2 months,
I finished reading Selden Edwards' The Little Book.


I only get to read when Faris is asleep
or
when he wakes up at 5am to nurse.
I rarely go back to sleep if that happens because I like to wait for azan Subuh then terus solat.
If tido balik, takut terlajak.

The past few books I read were period books (the genre that I love most) but decided to go with contemporary this time around.
So, I chose Karen Joy Fowler's The Jane Austen Book Club (I know it's cheating because they mostly discuss Austen which is somewhat a period novel).


Wonder how long it'd take to finish this one. :P

Anis

Informed decisions

Salaam.

What makes a contemporary Muslim different from a non-Muslim?

Why do you think you are so much better than your father?

When am I answering my calling?

Who are we to pass judgment?

Which is it- drown in gold, or float on faith?

How does anything make sense?

Informed decision is the way to go, I think. Make every moment count, since any moment is one moment more than we had a moment ago.

Matt

Bakat Terpendam

Faris ada a few Lamaze toys.

An inchworm.
A dinosaur.
A lion.
A firefly.
A Sun/Moon.
A clutch cube.

Tak kira la Lamaze yang mana dia tengah main, and tak kira apa position pun toy tu,
Faris akan jumpa label dan nyonyot benda tu sampai lenjun.
Features lain pada toy Lamaze tu dia tak main sangat.
Dia akan carik label jugak.

Itu lah bakat terpendam Faris.

Bangga,
Bonda.

Decisive

Faris happens to be one of those blessed people who knows what he wants in life. :D

Nenda wanted to buy him this:

But he opted for this:
Very decisively and adamantly.

Tried to sway him to like the Vtech Dance and Sing Zoo toy buy he wouldn't let go of the Playskool Busy Balls, because that's what he wanted.

Even when Nenda wanted to pay for the balls, a little coaxing was needed for him to let go of the package.

Oh, our son. How you've grown this past 7 months. :D
Alhamdulillah.

Bonda.

My Children's Malaysia

In helping Husband narrow down his thesis topic, we paid a visit to Silverfish Books to broaden our horizon. It was a lovely trip.

Husband bought us this:

Shirley Lim's Princess Shawl.

I was amongst the priviledged to whom she read her working manuscript to back when I was an undergrad. I was quite thrilled to get to meet Shirley Lim.

But the visit saddened me.
The hard fact that statistically, Malaysians read one book a year.
Any book.

And then there's the hard fact that there aren't that many Malaysian writers in English.
Say what you will about my not loving my mother tongue. You don't know me or my preferences.
(Oh dear, I was distracted)
I'd like to read a fiction written about Malaysia, by Malaysians.
Something to put Malaysia on the literary map.

Princess Shawl is the first Malaysian children's literature I've come across.
I know that there's K.S Maniam's and there's Daphne Lee's, but this is the first that I was exposed to via Shirley Lim's visit to the university.

I'd just like my children's Malaysia to be available in literature, written by Malaysians.
They deserve that much, what with the advancements the country has made over the past 10 years.

Anis

TV Baby

Faris loves his books.
But he also loves watching the television.

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse
My Friends Tigger & Pooh
Dibo The Gift Dragon
Mousse & Boubidi (shocking!)
Backyardigans
Hi5
Elmo's World
Dive Olly Dive
Chuggington
Upin & Ipin

Some of the shows that keeps him occupied while Bonda or Ayahanda run errands.

Anis

Swelling

Tengah pandang Faris tidur.
Ayahanda dodoi sampai lelap.

Meragam.
Gusi dah koyak.

Cinta sangat mereka berdua.
Rasa hati dulu tak pernah tahu gembira sebegini.
Alhamdulillah.

:D

Nikmat Allah s.w.t sungguh hebat.
MashaAllah.

Bonda

Half-Hearted Half-Blood

I have waited a long time to watch the sixth movie installment of the Harry Potter series.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
I loved the book. It was so beautifully penned and personal.

The movie was alright considering how those responsible brought J.K. Rowling’s brainchild to life.
Special effects at the cave during the Inferi battle were grand.
Radcliffe and Grint’s comic timing are superb.
Draco Malfoy finally gets more screen time than all five preceding movies combined.

However, it did feel as though the build up was highly exaggerated. An anti-climax, so to speak.
Everything felt like it was played down. There wasn’t any particular focus.

For example, as the title bears, the focus should be on the said Half-Blood Prince.
Yet no explanation is made of the Half-Blood Prince.

The help Harry received in Potions by the mysterious Prince was part of the essence of Book 6 and yet we only see the “book” in action once or twice.

When Snape reveals that he is the Half-Blood Prince, it was a “What? That’s it?!” moment.
The was no fire, no passion in the deliverance of the revelation.

Ginny and Harry’s romance was severely played down that it’s criminal.
Cho Chang was a fling but Ginny is love and it’s a shame we didn’t get to see that.
It has always been Ginny.

The absence of the battle at Hogwarts may leave many gaping holes for the final two installments.
It should have been the introduction to Fenrir Greyback.
It should have been the platform of the strength of the DA members and the Order of the Pheonix.
It should have been there simply because it was awesome.

In the Additional Scenes of the movie, the clip entitled “Clouds Gather over Hogwarts as Flitwick Conducts Choir” is a beautiful scene.
Personally, it should have been in the movie.
The score, the cinematography, the editing, the emotions – everything was so beautiful.
So deep. So moving.
It foreshadowed a terrible event. It was so utterly breath-taking.

I love everything in the world of Harry Potter.
All in all, I loved this movie.
It was ok, but it could have been great.

Here’s hoping Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Volumes I and II won’t fall short of anything other than extraordinary.

A Potter Fan

I Am Annoyed

Because back in the fourth quarter of 2007, I was sucked into buying “Twilight” during an outing with Husband.

Because after finishing “Twilight”, I was suckered into continuing with “New Moon”.

Because even after realizing how much the book sucked, I followed up with “Eclipse” and waited for the release of “Breaking Dawn” simply because I thought they could redeem the abysmal story-telling of “New Moon”.

Because I was wrong. No redemption was made for “New Moon”. In fact, “Breaking Dawn” was so awful, I had to force myself to finish the book.

Because my time was wasted.

Because I wasted my money.

Because the books are a waste of shelf space in the library.

Because, what with the “Twilight Saga” phenomenon going around, people won’t shut up about it.

Therefore, I am annoyed.
Extremely.

Buku

I have some time devoted to reading nowadays, with Husband around for the semester break.
Vienna and it's splendor is vividly painted by Selden Edwards.
Acquantainces made with Freud, Mahler and Twain.

A trip to Kinokuniya burnt holes in different pockets since we had to pool from several pockets to purchase the fortune that is Jane Austen.

Looking forward to
Brom's The Child Thief.
And David Vann's The Legend of Suicide.

If anyone wonders what I do with the allowance Husband gives,
it's devoted to cluttering the already packed library.
And also Faris' growing library.
Usborne Cloth Books and Happy Pops Pop-up Books.
And Quran Stories for Little Hearts.
That's a great purchase everytime.

Anis.

Luxury

To those who know not what they say,

Yes, I do not have the luxury of savouring meals.
I inhale my food.

Yes, I haven't the luxury of viewing latest movies.
The last movie I went to was The Dark Knight.

Yes, I don't have the luxury of sitting down with a book and finishing it in two days.
I'm still on Chapter 1 of Selden Edwards', since a month ago.

Yes, I do not have the luxury of deep, 6 hour sleep.
I am truly thankful for even 2 hours.

But to those who know not what they say,

I am not missing out on anything.
Because unlike the luxuries that I do not have,
I have the luxury of raising a wonderful son.
This luxury is the king of kings of luxury.

You know not what you say.
And you definitely know not what you are missing.

Bonda

Surreal

It's still so wonderfully breath-taking to watch Husband and Faris.
I have a Husband, and we have a son.
And we are very much in love.
More everyday since that night we realised it.

Years used to be like a countdown in the past.
Some specific 3 years ago felt like an eternity,
but this 6 years together is a breeze.
A great breeze.

InsyaAllah more breezes to come.
And more little ones.
:D

Vampires

There was Louis.
Lestat.
Armand.

Gary Oldman as Dracula.
Leslie Nielsen as Dracula.

Then came Kiefer Sutherland and his fang gang in Lost Boys.

Bill Compton.
Eric Northman.
The Cullens.

Vampires are all the rage now.

But before Twilight and True Blood made Vampires cool,
there was...

Angel.
And Spike.
And the universe that is Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Oh yeah!

Suck on that!
(Pun intended)

Anis

NEW

Looking forward to Faris' first solid meal this weekend.
Planning and shopping for rice cereals and fruit desserts apart from the blended porridge.

Faris' gums is cutting and it's really disrupting his sleep patterns,
and his mood.
Poor Knight.
InsyaAllah all will be well soon.
He doesn't like his teether - just his hands and Bonda's finger.

And,
InsyaAllah we'll be welcoming a new member to the family;

An EXORA (Blue Haze)

Husband will be signing the agreement soon.

Alhamdulillah Rezeki.

InsyaAllah all will be well.

Anis

November 4th

For Husband,
Borrowing the words of Katherine of Aragon:

Last, do I vow, that mine eyes desire you above all things.

Happy Birthday.

I love you.

"Donda"

The Mistress

Back in January whilst pregnant with Faris, I craved for books.
I read through the pile in a few weeks.
Managed to finish the 4 out of 5 books.

Then Faris was born.
I couldn't find time to read because whatever free time I had, I forced myself to sleep.
6 months later, and Faris has regular activity patterns, I finally started reading again.
And...
Yesterday, I finally finished the fifth book.

This:

Anis

Lullaby and Books

Faris is a musical baby.
To lull him to sleep, I have exhausted my repertoire of songs so much so that I need to download new songs, memorize it and learn to sing it to the boy.

It started out with Disney's Alice in Wonderland's "Wonderland" song.
Then, a song I have sung to him since he was an embryo; "So This Is Love" from Disney's Cinderella.
Then it was Zee Avi's Kantoi.
Then, Hoobastank's The Reason.
Followed by Taylor Swift's You Belong With Me.
Then, Jason Mraz's Live High.
The list goes on.

By the time he's asleep, I'm parched.
Happily so.

Faris loves pop-up books but I'm having trouble finding good ones.
So far he only has the Baby Sparkle series picture books and a touch-and-feel Baby Animals book.
Would love to hunt for more books.
:)

Anis

Emotions

I laughed so hard at Sweets when he "discovered" how literal Bones was.

I screamed at the TV when Booth and Bones exchange their "soulmate" look but don't know it.

I felt Dean's heartbreak when telling Sam how hurt he was over his choosing a demon over blood.

I felt Eric's pain when pleading for Godric to stay.

I cried when Jamie-Lynn left Turtle, tears welling at the airport.

I felt so much love when Mrs. Ari nodded in approval at Ari's business conquest after his touching speech.

I felt the worn out Drama feeling defeat but hopeful at the Melrose 2009 audition.

I gush and smile like a cheshire cat at how Chuck lembutly says "Hey" at an approaching Blair.

I smile thinking about the "Besar punye!" Maggi ad.

TV's good.
Keeps our emotions in check.
Keeps us human.

But nothing beats that emotion when Faris looks up at us and gives his cheeky smile...

Anis

Bisikan Nafs

"Andai kata Bintang menyepi, Bulan tidak berseri"

Cinta hati.

Grandfathers

Paternal grandfather aku satu Malaysia kenal.
Siap belajar dalam buku sejarah.
Semua orang, at one point, akan belajar Penyata Abdul Rahman Talib.
Satu Malaysia kenal arwah Aki.
Tapi aku tidak.

Dad was barely a teenager when arwah Aki passed away in Cairo.
Cardiac arrest, I'm told.
He's survived by his widow and 10 children.

Maternal grandfather aku rock!
83 and counting, insyaAllah.
And still as healthy as a horse, Alhamdulillah.
Masih lovey-dovey dgn my wheelchair bound grandmother macam baru dating.
That's really something after 60+ years of marriage and 7 children later.
:D

Aku rasa a child yang ada both sets of grandparents are blessed.
Their presence may contribute to a positive character development.
InsyaAllah Faris will be one of the blessed ones.

Aku sayang arwah Aki dan Atok!

Anis

Investments

It's good advice to buy seconds, or cheap and save the difference.
However, this doesn't apply to everything,
least of all stuff for babies/children.

We learnt the hard way that when we wanted to "save", we actually spent more.
For example, we got Faris' stroller for a great bargain.
Less than RM300.
But it's bulky, flawed and hazardous.
The harness was cutting into Faris' flesh.
:$

So we got him another stroller/buggy.
Slightly on the pricey side, but it's so good.
A Maclaren Quest Sport.
Black/Citrus Lime.
Alhamdulillah, MasyaAllah.

Same goes for a "local" baby sling/carrier.
Compared to the Baby Bjorn we finally purchased, it was crap.
That's more RM out the window just because we wanted to "save".

We know now that you get what you paid for.

So when it comes to baby/stuff, our advice is that you do your research before purchasing it.
There's a reason why people pay so much more than the average Joe for a brand.

Splurging vs. Saving
Think about it.
Sometimes, splurging is an investment.
Long term.

From the new parents,
Matt & Anis

21 Gun Salute to the Two Cents

• TLC's Toddlers and Tiaras disgust me. As a mother, I'm not here to judge. But I can't help but feel compelled to call social services when you don your 4 year old in scantily clad clothes and ask her to prance before judges to evaluate her "beauty" all for the sake of a cheap, plastic trophy with ribbons and sparkles.

• Just because I watch The Ellen DeGeneres Show and am a fan of Neil Patrick Harris, doesn't mean I "love" the gay people or the whole idea of homosexuality. Having said that, I'm not homophobic either. Three words: I'm a Muslim.

• I love Supernatural. The first few seasons that is, when everything was Ghouls and Ghosts and Urban Legends. But the angels and demons take really threw me off. Funny how the show's creators see angels/demons/Lucifer. A big chunk of season 4 is blasphemy. I know shows are there to entertain and for the most part, I was entertained. But "The Winchester Gospel"? Prophet Chuck? Really? I love the show but I'm also glad this season 5 is their last season. Hate to see them get axed when they suck. I finally know why people quit while they're on top.

• Just because you already have 2 or 3 kids, does not mean you know a whole lot about parenting OUR child. I do not appreciate our parenting skills being scrutinized just because our son doesn't "function" as yours did. So what if it's a little difficult to put him down when he's asleep? So what we don't take him out at night? Need we remind you that children's personalities vary as well, just like you and me. One child may like one thing/act one way. Doesn't guarantee ours will as well.

Anis

Eid and After

Ramadhan came and went.
So did Eid.
Everything is going by in a flash.
Faris is growing up fast.
Sitting up and turning himself over already.
We think his gums are starting to itch because he keeps chewing his lower lip and tongue.
I hope our baby boy doesn't grow up too fast.
I'd miss him terribly.

We are saving to buy him a new stroller.
For our tiny car, we're looking at the Maclaren.
Light weight and umbrella fold.

Going bottle hunting.
I like MAM's silk teast but I don't like MAM's bottles.
So what I do is I buy other bottles and switch the teats.
Faris only has two Chicco bottles.
:(

First Eid as parents is great.
Not quite that eventful since going to open houses aren't very convinient.
But the Eid morning, dressing Faris up in his baju melayu was an event.
Proud.
Handsome.
:D

Anis.

Special Delivery

Yesterday I went downstairs to find a brown package on the dining table.
It was addressed to me in a familiar handwriting.
Following the "Tear From Here" directions, I found this inside:

And inside it, I found this:


A wonderful pair of Scholl.
I have been wanting one since my trusted Nike running shoes "died" on me.

Turns out father and son had a ploy to surprise their Bonda.
I asked "What's the occasion?"
All Husband said with his cheeky smile, "Just because...".
With a card that made my millennium, this is one of the best gifts I've ever received.

Thank you Ayahanda.
Thank you, our Son.

Bonda shall wear out the shoes by chasing after you once you've "found" your legs, our Son.

I love my two men.

Anis

Italics

Salaam.

A day to remember,

the day I touched my son's hand in my own, and saw for myself how they fit.

the day Bonda Ours was presented a speck of what she deserves, and still reacted like she got it all.

the day I woke up, and saw Marvel Crossovers Venom, muscularly revving his engines for all
to see and (pardon the pun) Marvel, after a whole year of forgetting he ever existed.

the day Faris lit the whole household with his infectious laughter, causing everyone to
join in.

the day love becomes consumed entirely, and not just worthlessly spewed, when we are together.

the day I open my eyes, and take other days in.

Fit. Still. Year. Everyone. Love. Other.

A great day if I can just one.

A blessed life since I have them all.

Matthekage

The Sweetest Sound

Faris has developed a sense of humour.
His laugh is the most beautiful siound we've ever heard.
Despite of tired facial muscles due to trying to make him laugh, it's all worth it when he does.


And this is the new addition to Faris' "friends".

Anis

Clothes for Baby Ours

Yes, we buy our son's clothes from Mothercare.
No, it's not because kami gila brand.
No, it's not because kami ni "kaya" suka beli baju mahal-mahal.

Mothercare is actually affordable if you buy the 7 pieces per pack suits.
And the quality is great.

Other baby stores' clothes i.e. Anakku is quite expensive if you make a comparison.
Yes, we still go hunting for bargains at Brands Outlet, that's how my son has a lot of Osh Koshs and Carter's. We're not bound to just Mothercare.

Yes, we know babies grow up fast hence you don't see the point of us buying clothes that are "expensive".
InsyaAllah Faris will have siblings.
If Allah s.w.t. permits it, but we're not planning on stopping at one.
So, they can have the good-quality hand-me-downs.

For your children, wouldn't you want the best?

Anis

Merdeka?

Ada yang komen complexion anak kami gelap.
Tak cerah.
Tak macam anak mat salleh.

Tak cerah maka tak comel ke?
Tak mulia akhlaq?
Tak bijak?
Tak bersih hati & nafs?

We will teach our son and insyaAllah his future sibling(s) to be proud of his Indian lineage.
And his Chinese lineage.
And his Malay lineage.

Ingatkan zaman ni orang dah merdeka from such shallow thoughts/way of thinking.
I suppose we're a young country and still have a long way to do.
And a lot to learn.

Selamat Hari Merdeka.

Anis.

Growth

Faris is huge.
For 3 and half months, people are amazed at his size and weight.
All 7.05kgs of him. And we weighed him almost 3 weeks ago.
Wonder how much he weighs now?

He is getting better in dealing with tummy aches.
But when gripe and wind hits, it hits bad.
He'll cry sampai merah-merah muka and tak berbunyi.
:(

At 3 and half months, he's wearing 6-9mos clothes.
6-12mos socks.
And we need a bigger tub.
Bath time turns him into an orca.
:D

Faris "talks" alot.
And laughs alot.
Alhamdulillah, he's a very happy baby.

Bonda

Salaam Ramadhan

First Ramadhan as parents.
Sad that I haven't been able to complete a full fasting day due to breastfeeding.
Our son drinks like a fish.
It's no wonder that at 3 months he can't fit his 3-6mos clothes.

Looking forward to Eid.
Going hunting for a nice pair of baju melayu for Faris.
:D

Twenty Four

Turning 24 is a blessing. Alhamdulillah.
Turning 24 as a wife and mother is a bigger blessing.

Thank you Allah s.w.t.
You are Most Gracious.

Anis, the 24 year-old wife and mother.

BUY CLOTHES HERE

My sister in-law has an online boutique business going on.

Check out her site.

Fashion Sweetheart Online

Amputee

Since last week, Husband has been down with the flu, fever and cough.
The whole package.
And since the H1N1 scare is still on, we took every precaution we can think of to protect Faris.
Husband sleeps outside and wears a mask around Faris.

Without Husband's aid with Faris, I felt like an amputee.
Struggled for the first night or so.
The stress and worry caused the breast to be engorged with milk, which hurt so much.
When Faris slept, I cried.
I never want him to sense that I'm upset.

I miss Husband so much.
Faris misses his Ayahanda too.
He cries alot when he senses his Ayahanda is not around.
To lull him to sleep, Husband needs to stand in clear view where Faris can see him.
As he's falling asleep, Faris still forces his eyes open to check if Ayahanda is still there.
Breaks our hearts, really.

Alhamdulillah, Husband is better now.
Hope my "limbs" will "rejoin" me soon.

Anis

Deep Waters

When someone throws you at the deep end of the waters, you have two choices: to sink or to swim.
Actually, sinking is not an option.
"Sink" and "swim" are just two words God knows who coined together, where one has less or no significant meaning at all.
Like Truth or Dare.
No one ever selects "truth".
Whose to say whether you are lying or otherwise.

I was thrown into the deep waters when Mother left and Husband started work.
I swam, and I am swimming still.

Alhamdulillah I survived my first week alone with Faris.
I have a little help here and there from my sister in law, but basically, I survived.
Husband does all he can to help with Faris when he comes home from work/classes but I know he's dead tired too.
So I try to let him rest as much as I can.

Faris is so big already.
Time flies.
And he's such a joy.
Very demanding in terms of feeding, but other than that, he's a wonderful baby.
And very playful.
:D

Faris has three "friends" so far.
A Lamaze Musical Inchworm,
A Lamaze Lion named Logan,
and a turtle-shaped rattle we named Sal (inspired by Entourage's character Turtle whose real name is Salvatore @ Sal).
Looking forward to getting more toys.
Lamaze and Playgro are my favourites.

Anis

The hour approaches...

The week is here where the weekend will see the parents' departure, back to the Island.
Husband is a week closer to going back to work.
I am that much more anxious and nervous about being a single mother albeit for a few hours.
I am constantly mapping when I am to shower, do baby's laundry, do our own laundry, cook and rest.

Mother says I can do it.
She reminds me that if she can raise my brother alone whilst my father was studying in the States - if she can do it, I can do it.
She reminds me that when she had me, she had two children to care for, alone, whilst my father went to work in the mines - if she can do it, I can do it.
InsyaAllah.
Here's hoping.

It's nice to know that I'm not alone in what I'm going through.
From the time Faris was in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (and Husband and I were in our own personal Hell) to the time my breastmilk production was running low.
It helps that there are mothers who have gone through all this before and share their precious two-cents with me.

I enjoy being a mother.
It's a nikmat from Allah s.w.t.
A blessing.

With that in mind, going through things on my own (for a few hours) seems bearable.
I don't look forward to it, honestly, but when the time comes, InsyaAllah it'll be ok.

They say it'll get better, easier, in time.
InsyaAllah.
I sure hope so.

Anis

Terrified

Another week until Husband starts work/classes.
Same week, Mother is leaving for the Island.
I am beyond terrified.

I'm curious as to how I'll survive without them aiding me with Faris.
I can't even shower if one of them isn't around to watch over Faris.
More accurately, hold Faris.
Faris does not want to sleep in his basket or cot lately, leaving me behind on all chores.

May Allah s.w.t help me and bless me with patience and strength.

Anis

Ceasarean

I'm aware that some women opt for Ceasarean section instead of natural birth.
Note: I'm not one of them.

I did not ask to have a fever of 39.1 degrees during labour that caused baby's heart rate to escalate dangerously.
I did not plan to dilate up to only 3cm despite good (and painful) contractions for 18 hours or so.
In preparation for the operation, I definitely did not want a catheter to be shoved into any part of me.
I did not want to have to go for an operation where the anesthesiologist pumped burning fluids to put me under.
I did not want to be cut open.
I did not want my Son to be yanked out of the womb, into the world but will only be able to see him, hold him, feed him 24 hours later.
I did not want to be alone, without Husband.

So, before you ask - with much negative judgment, as to why I gave birth via C-section and not try the "natural" way, try and hold your tongue and mind your own business.
Your tone and assumptions are offensive.

But I know what happened, happened because it was the best for me.
Allah s.w.t. knows best.
Ada hikmahnya.
Aku redha.

Anis

Post Pregnancy

I don't remember what it's like to sleep for more than an hour anymore.
I've learnt to inhale my food.
I've developed a skill to shampoo my hair, scrub the body and wash my face simultaneously.
I have bionic arms since Faris will only sleep in his cot after dah lena tidur berpegang.
Discovered how amazing Husband is on a daily basis.
Managed to learn how to sneak huggles time with Husband, albeit for 10 mins.
"Sabar" is something you constantly pray for.
Catching Eli Stone or House at 4am has become a routine, whilst Faris is nursing.

Then there's Faris.
And then, there are no words...

Anis

28

Alhamdulillah.
By right, Faris is 4 weeks old today.
One month this weekend, insyaAllah.
So far, platelets are up from 126 to 393 in 13 days.

Adjustments have been made to parenthood.
So far, it's been alright.
A lot of tears and temper in the beginning though, but everything came naturally after that.
I have the most amazing Husband.
The most amazing family.

We aren't receiving guests or phone calls as of yet.
We're still VERY tired.
Traveling up and down for the first two weeks of Our Son's life to the ICU hasn't worn off yet.
Pardon our "sombong"ness.
Faris is tired.
We are tired.

Anis

Omit

Husband and I have omitted "Jacen" from Baby Ours' name.
Apparently it is a variant of "trouble" in Hebrew, Greek.
So now, it's

FARIS AZRAL

Still beautiful.
Still perfect.

Still Ours.

Ayahanda & Bonda

Fighter

Faris:
Arabic.
"Knight"

Jacen:
Named after one of Star Wars' most powerful Jedi Knights,
Jacen Solo.
Pronounced jay-ken.

Azral:
Tribute to his father.
A fighter in his own right.

Combine all three:
Our Son is truly a fighter, insyaAllah.
A true Knight.

InsyaAllah all will be well.
A certain release,
a heavy burden
is lifted off our hearts once we truly, truly berserah to Allah s.w.t.

Your parents are so proud to be yours.

Trauma

I am a Group B Streptococcus carrier.
85% of women are - they just don't know it.
Fever during labour caused Our Son to be admitted into the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for observation.
The Group B Strep bacterium may invade Our Son.
Five-day antibiotics course.

Then we took him home.

Friday, 22nd May 2009.
Our Son's follow-up appointment with the paediatrician.
Doctor found Faris has fever.
Rare in neonates.
Faris was admitted, in the ICU again.

Faris' platelet count is low.
Fever spikes now and then.
Today is day 3 of antibiotics.
But no word on what is ailing him.

Kami berserah. Completely to Allah s.w.t.
Tawakkal.
We are terrified.
I want my son in my arms.
So does his Ayahanda.

No mother, no father, no parent -
should ever have to feel what we are feeling.

Matt & Anis

The Arrival

Our Knight has arrived, Alhamdulillah.

FARIS JACEN AZRAL

14th May 2009
1807 hrs
3.57 kg
Emergency Ceasarean after 18hrs of labour

We love you.
More than words can ever describe.

Yours,
Ayahanda & Bonda

One week passed

Doctor's appointment yesterday showed that Baby Ours is not ready to grace us just yet.
She says the baby hasn't turned to face the back and is still quite far up the cervix.
Honestly, we don't mind.
Only Allah s.w.t. and Baby Ours knows when it's the right time.
As anxious as we are, we are in no rush. :D
You can't rush a good thing, they say.
Plus, I love being pregnant.
Having a pouch with a baby inside that you carry around is amazing.

It's been really difficult to fall asleep at night lately, like tonight.
Or this wee hour of the morning.
Cake Mania 3 isn't helping.
The time I sleep most comfortably is after Subuh prayers.
I love Zzzzz.

The niece will be turning two this weekend, insyaAllah.
There'll be this elaborate party her parents are throwing.
Rented a jump-jump and ordered a customized balloon arch.
And a Minnie Mouse cake.
The party's theme is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
Should be fun.

Niece can't talk yet.
She's taking her time.
She crawled and walked later than other "normal" toddlers.
But stop comparing her to your child(ren).
Children do not have default settings.

Stop gushing over Robert Pattinson in my face because you think Twilight is "cool".
It's not.
If you've read the series, you'll find (like most) that the author's story telling skills are *bluek*
(See! I can't even find the word(s) to describe it).
Only the first book of the series is readable.
Pattinson may be a good actor in his own right but not as Edward Cullen.
And DEFINITELY not as Cedric Diggory.
*Yes. I said it. Whatcha gonna do? Cry?*

If I correct your grammar or pronunciation, please don't take it as an insult.
I'm only trying to help where I can, to the best of my capabilities.
If you'd rather make a fool of yourself in the future, by all means.
I have nothing to lose.
Tone down the ego.

I don't see how having certain subjects in English would diminish the "wonders" of the mother tongue.
There are other ways to glorify your language.
Hindering progress through English-medium subjects is not one.
Our mother tongue has been butchered long ago by borrowed words and other sociolinguistic factors.
Have you watched any local television series (or even the news) lately?

Oh, the early morning randomness.
Anis/Bonda.

IT crazy

These past few days, we've been doing a lot of last minute stuff - just in case Baby Ours decides to grace us with his presence sooner than expected.

The "Things to do Today" slots are always filled with various errands.
One particular errand on the list was to fix my laptop - it has been in the laptop bag for more than a year now since it crashed.
Stupid virus from trying to download "Diner Dash", illegally.
Guess that's what you get for being a cheapskate. *blush*

Laptop is now fixed.
This is the first entry on the newly reformatted laptop.

Bought the original Windows XP product key and original Microsoft Home and Student 2007.
My goodness, for a piece of CD and a bunch of alphabets and numbers really cost a fortune.
It's a long term thing, so it's alright.

Tweaked the laptop with some funky skin.
Bought a new notebook cooling pad,
A cute little lady-bug mouse and a 4 port USB hub.
Courtesy of Husband and Father. *thank you, thank you*

Everything costs less than a new laptop.
Didn't even come close to RM1000.
Father has been pestering me to get a new laptop instead of "upgrading" this current fellow.
"Go find nice, new, canggih one", he'd say.

Puas hati lagi sekarang, dari buang duit beli laptop baru.
Sekarang aku nak main Cake Mania 3 puas-puas.
Main sampai muntah, before I have to deal with actual muntah.
Day in, day out.

Cannot wait, Baby Ours.
Simply cannot wait.
:D

Anis/Bonda

The Bigger Person

We're always taught to be the "bigger person".
Marah - walk away.
Rasa nak melawan - hold your tongue.

Tapi kadang-kadang teringin jugak lash out.

Like:

"Oh bagus, dah kerja. Maybe now kau boleh bayar balik duit mak bapak aku, wahai makhluk yang tak mengenang budi"

atau

"Cheh, nama saja "family". Family takkan disrespect keluarga aku macam tu."

atau

"Kau ingat semua nak hidup lifestyle kau: tonggang arak sana-sini, pakai baju tak cukup kain?"

atau

"Just because you didn't see the "Do Not Put On Direct Heat" label kat bawah mangkuk tu, jangan tuduh Pyrex mak aku ciplak!"

atau

"Asal nampak muka adik bongsu kau tu saja, mintak duit. Bukan duit untuk beli makan ke apa, tapi duit nak menempel ikut orang pegi shopping kat overseas."

Sometimes, being the bigger person sucks.

:(

Anis

At April's end

Perut dah jatuh.
Doc kata baby dah in position nak enter cervix and into the birth canal.
She said by the looks of it;
insyaAllah seminggu dua lagi.
Check-ups dah start weekly.
*peluh, excited*

Husband scored grandly for final exams.
He's upset with one subject though.
That's because his standards are high.
But that's good.
Room for improvement in the future.
*Bonda and Baby Ours pats Ayahanda on the back*
Congratulations!

Sekarang, aku nak melantak makan apa saja.
Nanti mungkin berbulan-bulan tak boleh makan apa yang nak.
*otak overdrive pikir apa lagi nak makan*

The Unexpected

Husband and I love books.

When Husband reads to Baby Ours, his reactions from within the belly is priceless.
We bought 2 volumes of selected tales from Beatrix Potter.
Bonda wanted more because the stories and illustrations are just delightful.
So Bonda has been searching high and low for this:


An unexpected outing to The Gardens, caused by the heat, led us to Borders.
And it led us to the book.
The last one sitting by its lonesome on the Picture Books shelf in the Children's section.
And it led us to purchasing it.

Bonda and Ayahanda are ecstatic.
More stories to read at night.
Life is grand.

Alhamdulillah. Rezeki.

*glee*
Bonda/Anis

A Full Time Job

Soalan mereka-mereka:
"So, lepas bersalin, are you planning to work?"

Aku:
"No."

Respon mereka-mereka:
"Kiranya you nak jadi full time mom la nih?"

Aku hanya mampu duduk diam, tergamam.

Biarlah kau career woman.
Biarlah kau seorang yang masih belajar.
Biarlah kau ada kerjaya sambil buat Masters.
Biarlah kau semua-semua ini dan ada keluarga.
Ada baby.
Atau babies.

Tapi kalau kau berpikiran yang housewife sahaja yang "full time mom",
Shame on you.

Being a mother mana ada part-time.
Regardless of your career and your ambitions,
Being a mother is a full time gig.
Everyday.
For the rest of your life.

Sedih kalau kau tak sedar fakta ini.

Anis

All you need is Love?

Husband holds doors, pulls out chairs and always puts Bonda and Anakanda first.
From the beginning of the pregnancy, the pampering has escalated (I am not complaining :D).

The water retention in the feet has gotten worse, hence walking a lot is painful.
Husband would always insist on a wheelchair every time we're in a huge mall that requires a lot of walking from one store to another (Although I tend to just walk around if I feel up for it).

So yesterday, when several passing strangers made a comment (whilst Husband was pushing the wheelcahir) about how lucky I am to have a Husband who loves me and takes care of me, it got me thinking:

• Why the need for such comments?
• Aren't all Husbands suppose to do all the things my Husband does?
• Don't their Husbands do that?
• Lucky to have a Husband who loves me? *Why, yor Hasben no laf you izit? No laf, no call Hasben wor.*

The funny thing is that some have made comments that my Husband is pussy-whipped or bak kata orang Melayu - kena "Queen control". (The fudge?)
Reasons behind these comments:

• Husband helps with laundry.
• Husband does dishes.
• Husband pours water (lots and lots of water) for me every time he sees that my glass is empty, or almost.
• Husband listens to my opinions and actually cares about what I think/how I feel.
  

So,
Suami aku tolong buat kerja rumah.
Dia tidak bermentaliti yang kerja org lelaki ni carik duit je.
Dia suka masak sama-sama.
Dia suka tolong basuh pinggan.
Dia tak bagi aku sidai kain sebab masa pregnant 5 bulan aku pernah jatuh kat longkang (the foot miss stepped the gutter), so kalau dia ada some time sebelum pergi kerja, dia sidaikan kain.

*menung*

Tolong bagi tau aku part mana yang boleh menjana komen-komen yang aku "Queen control" Suami aku?

Curiouser and curiouser.

Anis

Baby Shower for Baby Ours

The girlfriends threw Baby Ours a Baby Shower.
It was a surprise, in a way, because the suggestion came out of the blue.
Husband and I always wanted to throw a baby shower but it was always a bad time or something.
But Alhamdulillah, the baby shower they hosted was awesome.

Had some Subway (from the cousin's newly launched second branch here in Kota Damansara) and great laughs and conversations.
Banyak rezeki Baby Ours.
The aunts to-be bought him all sorts of stuff:


A Bumbo seat,
some clothes and a hat, a cute neck cushion, a pair of shoes,
keepsake albums,
a toddler Lego set,
and
an on-the-go bottle set. :D

Husband and I had a wonderful time.
Hope the aunts to-be did too.
Thank you very much.

Hugs for all the aunts to-be,
Matt, Anis & Knight.

Frust to the Bone

Husband took us to the hospital today.
Had a last minute appointment with the doctor.
The pain was getting unbearable.
Still can't walk properly.
And it's not because of the water retention in the feet.
That, has gone down.

Turns out that it's the pubis (bone).
Doctor said normally it's not a joint that moves about.
Like our knee caps and such.
But during pregnancy, this pubis becomes more relaxed (to make way for the baby come labour time) and as the belly gets heavier, it moves a little.
Rubbing against each other.
That rubbing against each other is causing the pain and my lack of mobility.

No medications for it.
I shall brave through this without drugs, insyaAllah.
Doctor advices plenty of rest, try not to walk so much but if walking is required - support the belly so that the weight won't cause too much pain.

All in all, everything is fine Alhamdulillah.
Baby Ours is healthy, Alhamdulillah.

Frust.
The Fisher-Price® Miracles and Milestones™ Pop Open Play Gym™ at RM199.90 is no longer available.
:...(
Really wanted it.
Oh well.

Frust.
Mother's leaving soon.
Marah.
Sedih.
Yes. I'm being a baby.
*sad*

Bonda/Anis

Celebratory Post

Husband's done with exams.
Woohoo!
On his behalf, I can actually feel the shackles and the weight melting off.

He deserves a much needed break.
This semester has been taxing.
More challenging than the last.
Oh, the drama!
Some things, some events really brought him down.
But Alhamdulillah.
It's all over.
Dah usaha, now tawakkal.

Nothing to do until July, insyaAllah.
Looking forward to spending time with Husband and Baby Ours.

Ayahanda,
This is for you:
Woooooooooooooooohoooooooooooooooo!!!!

Loves,
Bonda & Knight

34th Week of Wonders

Alhamdulillah we've reached the 34th week.
Heading towards the end of month 8.
Two baby girls were born between April 2nd and the 7th.
Gorgeous.
With all these births, we are doubly excited to meet Baby Ours.
In due time, insyaAllah.

Stretch marks are more defined.
Husband loves them.
I do too.
A mark of a story to tell our children in the future, insyaAllah.

I ate something salty over the weekend.
Water retention started at the feet and it hurts!
The swelling makes the feet look so... weird.
Other factors are causing my mobility to be restricted.
Walking hurts.
Setting up at appointment with the doctor after Husband's exam.
Just to be safe.

Baby Ours' Aunty J called to ask what else we need for Baby Ours.
I told her we already have everything, Alhamdulillah.
She was adamant on getting him something.
So, I suggested something we wanted, but planning to buy when Baby Ours in older, insyaAllah.
A Bumbo seat.

Was browsing through baby stores for 3-6 months and above toys for Baby Ours.
Stumbled upon these:

LAMAZE Spin & Explore Garden Gym

It's lovely. Something for later, insyaAllah.
*Although methinks it's tad bit too girlish for Baby Ours
Babyjaya has it for RM150.
Not bad for a play gym when compared to the RM220-RM380 Fisher Price products.

We don't enter baby stores anymore.
Nothing much to see these days since we have all that we need.
Alhamdulillah.
Rezeki Baby Ours.

Hope the swelling goes down soon.
Hope to be able to walk properly soon.
Hope all will be well, InsyaAllah.

Anis.

Weekend Project

I was very driven to get the iron-on patchwork alphabets for Baby Ours' blanket.
It was the only thing I could think about.
One of those "mengidam" feelings.
I thought, since it's so difficult to get the embroidery done and we had no clue where to get the patches, cross-stitching would be a nice alternative.

Friday morning, whilst lazing about in the living room with Husband, I told Mother I would like to try my hand at cross-stitch.
She said there was a cross-stitch kit lying around somewhere.
She bought it for the niece, originally.
But my sister in-law didn't get around to doing it.
Now, niece is 2. And no one has claimed the kit.

And so I did.
Cross-stitched Baby Ours' name in different colours.
Made simple borders.
Cut it out.
And sewed it to the blanket.
Success!
Very proud.
And the satisfaction - beyond words.

Over the weekend I became the epitome of a pregnant woman.
The rocking chair.
The needlework.
The humming.
The silly, ecstatic smile. :D

On a different note, we haven't revealed Baby Ours' name.
We want it to be an unveiling when he's born, insyaAllah.
We are very serious and possessive about this.

Those who might give us grieve for not "sharing" enough, please understand:
This is our prerogative. Deal with it.

Those who know the name, please don't go around revealing it for us.
Only a handful of the dear ones know. Please respect our decision.
You can have your thunder when it's your child.

Thank you.

Anis

A Late Night or Early Morning

It's almost 2am and we're still up.
Might be from the adrenaline of parents' arrival.
Plus, was majorly craving for a burger.
Now, Baby Ours is satisfied and has finally slept (I suppose).

Whilst accompanying Husband release the whole semester's weight off his shoulders via God of War, I suddenly find myself thinking about the baby stuff we've gotten.

Little did we know that there are some things we've overlooked.
1) Breastfeeding pillow
2) Bottle rack (for drying after being sterilised)

Thought we've gotten everything. Oh well, they'll have to wait for the end of the month, InsyaAllah.

Went to Cotton Picking yesterday afternoon to embroid Baby Ours' name on his blanket.
Turns out they only do embroidery on their own products.
Company policy.

So now I'm hunting for patchwork iron-on alphabets.
Then I can do it myself.

The problem is, I have no idea where to get those patches.
Help anyone?
Thanks.

Looking forward to sleeping.

Anis

Booboos for Baby Ours

Husband had to pay a quick visit to the department and the library today, so I decided to tag along. Get out of the house. Go for a drive.

It's been awhile since I was back at the University. Nothing much has changed. I don't feel that sense of belonging I used to. But the library - that's a different story. I will always feel at home when it comes to a place where books dwell.

After happily parading Baby Ours (the Little One in the HUGE belly :D), Husband took us to the bookstore to look for some booboos for Baby Ours. Husband bought these:

We want to start reading to him. It'd be a nice way to spend family time. As it is, most nights Baby Ours sleeps to the recitation of the Quran. We feel that this is the one book that is very important to be read to Baby Ours. Some nights we read to him directly. Other nights when Bonda is too tired, we leave the electronic Quran on the belly while we sleep.

Baby Ours' WanChik got him a book/photo album. It's really delightful. There are slots for pictures and columns to tell the stories behind the pictures.


Looking forward to getting more booboos. Since we already have everything we need to prepare for Baby Ours' arrival, and buying too many clothes aren't practical since babies grow up really quickly, books seem to be the best investment.

Happy reading, Anakanda!

Anis/Bonda

Gelak cliche

Kalau dah pregnant 8 bulan dan takda kerja lain nak buat, biasanya blog-hopping akan jadi teman hiburan.
Ada blog pasal new mothers.
Ada yang pasal kehidupan ala-ala "Jon & Kate plus 8".
Ada yang pasal persediaan perkahwinan.

Penulisan blog adalah peribadi semata-mata.
Bukan untuk mata-kepala orang lain.
Tapi bila terbaca perkara-perkara yang overgeneralize suatu situasi,
Situasi yang kau sendiri tengah alami (atau ala-ala),
Kadang-kadang tak daya tahan keluar gelak cliche.

Gelak cliche 1:
Aku ada Ijazah Sarjana Muda.
Tapi aku kahwin awal.
Belum tamat pengajaran aku dah berumahtangga.
Pastu tak kerja.
Ini cliche yang menjana gelak paling kuat dari aku - aku "Millenium Housewife".
Bermakna, belajar tinggi-tinggi tapi takda career.
Membazir, kata orang.
*rolls eyes*

Gelak cliche 2:
Kata mereka-mereka, perempuan selalu kena sacrifice demi keluarga.
Give up her dreams.
Katanya, macam aku - dah apply Masters, dah pun dapat acceptance letter, tapi kena tolak sebab sudah berbadan dua.
*the fudge?*
Suka hati je kata perempuan kena give up her dreams.
Pernah kau tanya "dreams" dia apa?
Pernah kau terfikir yang hidup dia, as it is, is her dream?

Gelak cliche 3:
Kami belum ada rezeki merasa hidup rumah sendiri.
InsyaAllah soon.
Priority kami dan finances difokuskan pada hal-hal lain dulu.
Aku gelakkan orang yang pandang serong pada couples yang dah berkahwin tapi tinggal bersama mak ayah lagi.
Aku gelakkan orang yang kata kesian pada Suami aku yang "terpaksa" tinggal bersama in-laws.
And definitely aku gelakkan orang yang ada visual Suami aku "terseksa" sebab duduk dalam satu rumah dengan mak mertua.
Mak mertua dia rock! Mak mertua kau? Ke belum ada mertuanya?!
*scoff*

Overgeneralizations.
Funny.
Aku hanya gelakkan saja.

Anis

Braxton-Hicks and 4D

This past week, the lower back hurts.
I feel immense pressure on the sides of the tummy and lower abdomen.
One night, I actually woke up due to a strong tummy spasm.
Husband and I were very concerned.

Paid a visit to the doctor's today.
Doctor said it's Braxton-Hicks contractions.
Normal at 8 months onwards.
Will feel more in the coming weeks.
Stronger ones even.
Like the body is practising for full labour.
Nothing to worry about.
Baby's just turning and rolling around.

*sigh of relief*

For a minute there I thought Baby Ours was coming into the world early.
But I timed the spasms/contractions.
It's always just 4-5 times in two days or so.

We saw Baby Ours in 4D imaging today.
My goodness, technology these days!
We actually saw our son in 4D.
It was like looking at a fish through the aquarium glass.
You can't touch it, but it's there - in the flesh. So vivid.

Baby Ours montel.
From the screenings, he has Bonda's chin. :D
And Ayahanda's forehead.
Gorgeous.

MasyaAllah.
Alhamdulillah.

Baby Ours is a miracle.
Subhanallah.

Bonda

Interview with SHAPE

Found this after sooooooooo long. An interview I did for SHAPE magazine on behalf of Studio W last year.

Excerpt:
There are women, on the other hand, who tend to stay away from the machines altogether. One of them is 23-year-old [Anis]. “I’m not a gym person,’ she admits. “I don’t like weight training with machines and I don’t like the co-ed environment,” says Anis, who joined Studio W last June. Studio W is a women-only exercise studio in Kota Damansara where members use free weights, elastic bands and their own body weight to build strength.... The camaraderie that arises in an intimate female only group exercise class can be a great source of motivation. Says Anis: “I love the cozy environment of classes, plus everyone’s a friend there, including the instructor.”

I always loved working out there.
I miss going to Studio W.
Since all their class are in the evenings nowadays, I don't think I can go back after Baby Ours arrives.
Oh well, it was a great experience while it lasted.
Would definitely recommend any woman looking to stay healthy via Jazzercise to try Studio W out.
The yoga there is great too. :D

Anis

Raiders

A must as a Malaysian is to have your very own favourite pirated DVD store. Usually one that is around the corner, two minutes or so from home.

Of all the nights Husband and I decided we wanted DVDs, after more than 6 months of being movie-free, we decided last night was the right time for our purchases. Armed with our list, we drove to the store.

Of all nights, the counter was staff-less. The store had a handful of people browsing through movies and what not. But there wasn't anyone behind the counter to take our "orders". It was fishy that their walkie-talkies were scattered on the table.

We waited for someone to come and take our "order". About 10 minutes passed. Still no one. I took a seat while Husband waited some more.

And of all nights, two women came in the store, badge upfront, declaring themselves the police. More officers in plain-clothes came in through the back door. Everyone in the store were asked to remain where they were.

They asked for our identification, to make sure we weren't the ones running the place. There I was thinking, "Great. I'm hungry. And this has to happen now."

After about 15-20 minutes or so, they let the customers go. Glad we haven't paid for anything. That would be such a major burn.

The way the raid went, personally, was slightly disorganized, hence, I wouldn't be surprised if the authorities didn't manage to nab anyone.

However, I'm very grateful that nothing more happened than the officers asking us a few questions.
And that we managed to buy some yummy food afterwards.
And that we didn't piss away RM50 or so.
And that we got home safely.

It was definitely a "Malaysia; Truly Asia" experience.

Anis

P/S: Is this a subtle warning to not support the industry of "pirated DVDs" from the Powers-That-Be?

Ticker states (x) days to go

Sixty.
Enam puluh.
60.

Eyes wide.
Heart smashing.

60 bersamaan dengan 2 bulan.
Bersamaan dengan 8 minggu.
Genap.

Ada enam puluh hari saja lagi?
Betul?
Mimpi?
Mungkin?

Ibunda kata mungkin kurang.
By 10 days -
Or so.
Jadinya, 50 ke?

Berdebar.
Excited.
Berdoa for all to go smoothly.

Hati melompat tidak sabar.
:D
InsyaAllah.

Bonda.

Tentang Agama

Aku terpikir tentang agama. Bagaimana mahu didik anak-anak (insyaAllah) kami nanti? Aku masih belajar. Pentingnya mahu belajar kan? Ke tidak cukup? Entah.

Aku tahu Islam bukan setakat solat-puasa-bayar zakat. Aku tahu sebelum apa-apa pun, aqidah kena ada. Kuat. Kena perbetulkan itu dulu.
Aku tahu ihsan kita sesama insan itu penting - biarpun mereka bukan saudara se-Islam.

Aku belajar yang Rasullullah s.a.w. adalah contoh yang sebaik-baiknya yang kita perlu ikut, tapi tidak sampai meninggikan darjatnya lebih dari Allah s.w.t. Sememangnya hanya Allah s.w.t. yang berhak dipuja. Bersujud kepadaNya.

Tetapi bagaimana hendak didik anak-anak kami jika ada orang (biasanya ahli keluarga juga) yang berkonflik pendapat agamanya.

Aku tahu Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. is the best example. So keluarga aku solat mengikut sunnah. Ada yang berkata aku dan keluarga "sesat" sebab tak ikut mazhab. Beza sangat ke caranya? Bacaannya?

But the question is: kalau sesuatu itu sudah sunnah, kenapa yang masih berprinsip "mazhab trumps the Prophet s.a.w"?

Biasanya, bila agama jadi topik diskusi, the other person akan dismiss aku dengan mengatakan:

a) I sekolah agama dulu, I tau la.
b) Tok nenek dulu buat macam tu, aku ikut la.

Anakanda,
Tentang ilmu, terutamanya berkaitan dengan agama,
kita tak boleh taqlid.
Cari ilmu, berdiskusi -
dengan hati yang terbuka.
Always research facts yang orang kata tu "betul".
Insist on seeing the dalil.
But never ever compromise religion just to "satisfy" masses.

InsyaAllah Anakanda jadi anak yang soleh. Ayahanda and Bonda doakan.

Cinta kamu,
Ayahanda & Bonda.

Forced Pedicure and Warm Showers

One of the "perks" of being pregnant is that the hugeness of the belly prevents you from bending forwards.
I cannot reach my toes, even when I'm sitting down.
Hence, I am "forced" to go for pedicures since I cannot cut my own toe nails.
:)


After her operation, Mother is suffering the same dilemma: cannot bend to cut own toe nails.
So the both of us indulged in a 45-minute pedicure over at The Nail Parlour @ Giant.
I didn't go all out on the spa pedicure (Mother did) because, since I'm pregnant, no excessive pressure should be applied to the soles of the feet.
It effects the womb, I think. Or something reflexology-related that can effect the baby.

Toe nails are now short, and shiny from the buffering.
*happy*

Husband bought Bonda and Baby Ours a water heater.
*YAY*
No more cold showers for Bonda that causes the stomach to tighten. We figured Baby Ours isn't too fond of the cold.
*Thank you Ayahanda*
Ayahanda got it for a very reasonable price (plus installation and wiring).
Early morning showers will never be the same again. :)

Bonda/Anis

Unveiling

The unveiling
of Our son's crib, insyaAllah.
Coming soon.
In *less* than 70 days.
InsyaAllah.

*grins. excited*

The very proud parents-to-be.

The Third

Alhamdulillah...
Third trimester.
10 weeks to go.
Numbers are decreasing.
Excitement escalating.

Had first hospital visit yesterday.
Our previous doctor recommended this doctor. InsyaAllah, a good choice.
She's very meticulous, gentle and fun.
The first doctor to have the radio on during consultation and humming while scanning the baby.
Baby Ours was dancing, I think. He didn't stop kicking throughout consultation yesterday.

Went over the estimated hospital bill.
Admittedly, nothing comes cheap these days. But for safety and comfort, insyaAllah, there's no price to it.
InsyaAllah akan ada rezeki.
:)

We're advised to get everything ready and prepare for the arrival of Baby Ours now that we're in our third trimester (Already? Really? Still hasn't sunk in yet).
So far, we've packed the baby bag.
Will pack Bonda/Ayahanda overnight bags soon.
I need more kain batik!

All packed!

Anis/Bonda

Sale Splurge!

We weren't aware of the March sale.
Something about the school holidays.
I love the sale!

We got these:


The Medela Mini Electric Breast pump, plus 3 additional storage bottles (that can be used as a feeding bottle, BPA-free) at only RM400. Normal price: Breast pump RM450. Bottles, RM70. A bargain, no?


Little Bean Steriliser and Warmer for RM159. Normal price: RM200. Most brands sell steam sterilisers and warmers separately. Was going to go for Pigeon because a cousin recommended it. However, Pigeon steriliser is already RM160 and warmer is about RM300. So... yeah.

Splurged. And happy about it.
There's nothing left on the "to buy" list (save toiletries i.e. cotton, lotion, baby oil, etc.).
*But there's never a limit to clothes, so we're constantly scouting for baby clothes.
Good timing since our "deadline" for all purchases for baby related stuff is end of the month, before Ayahanda starts his exams.
Now, we can just relax and save for the future.

Happy spender,
Anis
[Thank you C**P**, although the transaction was 3 months late]

Theater Man

Husband is a Theater man.
He loves acting.
Won Best Actor (as seen above).
He misses theater. I know he does.
The stage. The audience. The thrill. The challenge of diverse roles.

I often ask why he doesn't venture into that world anymore.
He says he hates committing to something (rehearsals, etc.) that takes him away from family.
*blush*

He still acts,
For his most loyal audience - Bonda and Baby Ours.
His stage - home, bedroom, anywhere we are.

He'll always be our theater man.

Husband's "best" audience,
Bonda & Knight

Precious Knight

Of all the things we've bought for Baby Ours, Our Knight, this excited us most. :D Precious. Bundle sales at Brands Outlet rocks!

Bonda

E & A

The first of many, insyaAllah

Image address here

Rambang

Aku selalu baca "Random Facts" di blog teman-teman.
Kali ni, aku punya "Random Facts" pulak.

#1
Perut aku/Baby Ours dalam perut bukan benda kat petting zoo. Apasal kau nak main usap-usap perut orang pun aku tak tau. Aku tak kenal kau pun. Aku tak suka, aku akan tepis. Peduli apa kalau kau extended family/kawan/kenalan. Tolong respect aku, Suami aku dan Baby Ours.

#2
Bila kau tanya aku insyaAllah akan beranak kat mana dan aku jawab *insert name of private hospital here* kemudian reaction kau "Oh. Swasta. Kaya ek?", jangan marah jika aku membalas dengan "Alhamdulillah, masyaAllah". Dah kau puji aku kaya, aku berterima kasih la. Memang aku kaya pun. Aku kaya kasih sayang Suami dan keluarga, Alhamdulillah. Apa? Kau expect jawapan Melayu skema, dengan tersipu-sipu, "Eh. Tak lah. Mana ada? Camtu-camtu je." Aku rasa jawapan macam tu bukan tunjuk modesty, tapi blasphemy. Allah s.w.t. dah simbah nikmat macam-macam, kau tolak.

#3
Aku possessive. Zaman kuliyyah dulu aku tak suka share botol air. Nak pinjamkan pen kat orang pun pikir dua tiga kali (sebab selalu mereka tak pulangkan. Lupa atau buat-buat lupa). Kalau botol air dan pen aku tak bagi orang pegang, masuk akal tak aku nak bagi kau pegang anak aku? Jangan tersinggung kalau kau mintak permission nak pegang/dukung si kecil nanti dan aku jawab "No". Hanya yang aku percaya dengan nyawa aku yang mungkin boleh pegang anak aku.

#4
Kau mungkin akan rasa aku ni berlagak, tak sedar diri. Aku tak kisah. Aku ni aku. Sila angkat kaki jika tak suka.

Dah lepas geram. Secara rambang.
Puas.

Anis

Hospitals

I am exhausted beyond words.

Mother came home last Saturday night quite abruptly. She's in the hospital now. Emergency surgery. Relatively a simple procedure but all medical procedures on those pass 50 have higher risks (for complications).

Tawakkal.

Alhamdulillah. She's recovering. Very much herself. :D Dad flew home on the last flight out. Arrived late last night. Was too tired to wait for his arrival. Have been at the hospital since Husband and I drove Mother there early Monday morning.

Speaking of hospitals, Husband and I have decided on a hospital (and a doctor) for Baby Ours' arrival.
Everything seems so surreal now.
Everything is falling into place.
Packing the overnight bags soon. The only thing we haven't bought are the Breast pump and Bottle steriliser.

Should be fun going for check-ups at the hospital now that we're fast approaching our 3rd trimester (2 weeks til the end of 2nd trimester, insyaAllah). But will miss the Women's clinic though. Such a cozy place.

Still exhausted.
Anis

Seven Memorable Firsts

• The evening I met Husband
• The morning I woke up at Cyberview Lodge as his Wife
• Baby Ours' first kick/punch/nudge
• When I was taught how to perform solat (I was 4 or so. Practiced on my ABC mat as sejadah)
• The bowling game Husband and I had back in Ampang and Husband bowled 4 strikes in a row
  
• The first time Husband held my hand and I realized no other hand has ever fit so perfectly in mine
• That first kiss after the sarung cincin ceremony on our wedding day

*in a daze, recounting memories*

Anis

شوكولاتة

Semalam aku mengidam chocolates.
Lots. Of. Chocolates.

Aku bukan peminat chocolates.
Teman-teman selalu kata aku pelik.
Katanya mereka tak pernah jumpa perempuan yang tak suka chocolates.
Bagus lah.
Aku bukan macam orang lain pun.
Aku ni aku.

Bukan tak suka.
Cuma tak minat.

Rasberry ripple ice cream trumps Chocolate ice cream any day.
Glazed donuts trumps Chocolate donuts.
Fresh milk trumps Chocolate milk.
Ricola Lemon gumdrops trumps a bar of chocolates.

Tapi semalam lain.
Tiba-tiba all I could think of was the big bar of Cadbury Black Forest chocolate.
So Husband pun bawak pergi Giant.
Shopping chocolate macam dunia ni akan kehabisan chocolate hari esoknya.

Mulanya nak beli Black Forest tu je.
Masuk aisle chocolate - gone.
Itu nak, ini nak.
Habis dekat nak RM30 kat chocolates je.
Bahaya mengidam ni.

Tapi puas.
Hari ni, sepulah kali sekejap bukak peti ais cubit makan chocolate.
*senyum*

Puas.

Anis

My Pet Peeves

Salaam.

Just came back from having dinner with My Lovers of The Soul, My Weight of The World, My Subliminal Treaty with The One and ONLY.

Saddened...

Met the many OTHER characters that Allah S.W.T. decided to impress the world with. Some got my order wrong. Some kept My Wife waiting for no better reason than Incompetence. One Malay decided to take advantage of My Baby-like face and calm demeanour (InsyaAllah), all the while ACTING like he was the victor. As if HE was the one that came up on top.

All the while, innocent bystanders were bloodied, and possibly scarred, to extents the human mind could never hope to even begin to start contemplating in trying to ascertain the 'plausibilities' that may yield an understanding that may transcend what the human mind can know.

Saddened...

To see young, pure faces looking at their model of conduct, their pillar of support, and not to realise the poison that seeps into them, changing them, mutating them, dissolving their purity into a cancer like the one before them.

Heartened...

All is not lost. Bonda keeps her vigil. She sings praises to the Almighty, almost like the act is second nature to her. Baby Ours listens, InsyaAllah, and keeps the torch alive. Keeps the Fire burning with such intensity that I continue to be befuddled, and cowed, and awed, and humbled, and put in my place, for learning is the key to knowledge, and I breath it evermore.

He is Our hope. Our undying hope that the world is a grand place, even though pet peeves are a-given.

And the Malay?

Marilah berharap yang si dia, seperti kita, dapat berusaha untuk keamanan dan kesejahteraan semua (Let's hope that like that scrupulous character, we all can strive for the betterment of each other).

After all, Malay-sial boleh kan???

Pardon.

What I meant was let us embrace our flaws and do the best that we can.

After all, Malaysia can kan?

A positive Muslim Malay,
Matthekage

Sweet Blood?

I am 6 days shy of the 7th month of the pregnancy.
Since November, I've put on 10kgs.
Not bad when compared to the other women in my family.
Mother, when pregnant with me, put on 22kgs by the 9th month.

Doctor is slightly concerned about the weight gain.
Would want to be sure there's no pregnancy diabetes involved.
Checked Baby Ours.
Alhamdulillah, his growth is aligned with age/number of weeks pregnant,
therefore no signs of any diabetes.
Checked Bonda's wee-wee for excessive glucose.
Alhamdulillah, negative.

Since doctor still wanted to be sure, I had to go for a Glucose-tolerance blood test.
Fast from 10pm the night before, do the blood test at 10am the next morning.
Drink a carbonated glucose drink, that must be gulped within 15 minutes.
No food or drinks for the next two hours.
Exactly two hours after first blood test, do another blood test.

Both pits-of-elbow (is there such a term?) are accessorized with fancy plasters.

InsyaAllah all will be fine.
Will know results in a week.

I find comfort that when I rub my belly,
and there's pressure from underneath the skin where my hand is resting.
I feel that our son (insyaAllah) and I are holding hands.
:D
*Baby Ours kicked Ayahanda's face whilst Ayahanda was tickling the tummy with his mustache.
:D
Aah... the men in my life.

Husband and I have so much to be thankful for.
All to Allah s.w.t.
Alhamdulillah.

Anis

Music & Baby Ours

Baby Ours is almost 7 months now, in the womb.
He is so healthy and handsome, Alhamdulillah.
Waved a little to Bonda and Ayahanda when doctor scanned him yesterday.
:D
90 days to go, insyaAllah.

Music that often accompanies Bonda whilst doing chores and Baby Ours enjoys (he kicks alot when these singers/bands are playing):

Keane
David Cook
Robbie Williams
Thriving Ivory
Coldplay
Take That (the new regime)
Collective Soul
Hanson
Backstreet Boys <3 style="font-style: italic;">

What a musical baby. :D

Bonda/Anis

Oh Please!

Think again before you flaunt your concert tickets or movie-going enthusiasm in my face to make me jealous/envious/in awe/whatevers...

I have more pressing issues to deal with - with much joy at heart.
I could care less that Coldplay *might* be headlining Sunburst 2009.
I love Coldplay.
Not enough to fork out cash and attend a concert whilst 7 months pregnant though.
So, there you go.

Jason Mraz in March? Not interested.
The fact that you, you and you can go watch Half-Blood Prince when it is released? Don't care.

We are having a baby, insyaAllah.

Perlu ke aku nak pikir nak keluar duit beratusan pegi tengok orang melalak atas stage bila aku boleh duduk rumah borak dengan anak aku (insyaAllah) yang kat dalam perut ni and tunggu dia respon dengan siku/lutut/apa-apa bahagian badan dia?
*He usually responds with a kick or two*
Duit tak boleh beli "front seat" ticket semacam ni.

Aku yang "lame" dan "boring" dan "no life" sebab tak nak pegi concert/movie,
Anis