Completed

At the beginning of the new year, I set out on a Goodreads Challenge.
To read 22 books in 2013.

Last year, 2012, I had a goal of 10 books.
to read 10 books in 2012.
10.
I only managed 9.

It's so easy to stop reading.
Hence, I took up this challenge.
Read 22 books in 2013.
My children will emulate what I do.
If I want them to read, I have to read.
They have to see me reading, and loving it.
I do so love reading.

I may not always have time to read.
That's why it may take me weeks or maybe months to finish a 300+ page book.
I don't care. It's not a race.
As long as I get to read.

And today, Alhamdulillah, I finished my 22nd book of 2013.

The 22 books read in 2013

Abe and Henry

Henry

“Judge us not equally, Abraham. We may all deserve hell, but some of us deserve it sooner than others” 

-

“Without death,' he answered, 'life is meaningless. It is a story that can never be told. A song that can never be sung. For how would one finish it?”

-

“Living men are bound by time... Thus, their lives have an urgency. This gives them ambition. Makes them choose those things that are most important, cling more tightly to that which they hold dear. Their lives have seasons, and rites of passage, and consequences. And ultimately, an end. But what of a life with no urgency? What then of ambition? What then of love?” 

Abraham

“There are but two types of men who desire war: those who haven’t the slightest intention of fighting it themselves, and those who haven’t the slightest idea what it is.”

-

“The true roll in determining to embrace or reject anything is not whether it have any evil in it but whether it have more of evil than of good. There are few things wholly evil or wholly good.”

-

“But I am happy. And happiness, I have decided, is a noble ambition.”

 -SETH GRAHAME-SMITH, Abraham Lincoln; Vampire Hunter

Giant Wisdom

“Do not forget," the BFG said, "that human beans are disappearing everywhere all the time even without the giants is guzzling them up. Human beans is killing each other much quicker than giants is doing it."

"But they don't eat each other," Sophie said.

“Giants isn't eating each other either, the BFG said. Nor is giants killing each other. Giants is not very lovely, but they is not killing each other. Nor is crockadowndillies killing other crockadowndillies. Nor is pussy-cats killing pussy-cats.

'They kill mice,' Sophie said.

'Ah, but they is not killing their own kind,' the BFG said. 'Human beans is the only animals that is killing their own kind.'

'Don't poisonous snakes kill each other?' Sophie asked. She was searching desperately for another creature that behaved as badly as the human.

'Even poisnowse snakes is never killing each other,' the BFG said. 'Nor is the most fearsome creatures like tigers and rhinostossterisses. None of them is ever killing their own kind. Has you ever thought about that?'

Sophie kept silent.

'I is not understanding human beans at all,' the BFG said.' You is a human bean and you is saying it is grizzling and horrigust for giants to be eating human beans. Right or left?'

'Right,' Sophie said.

'But human beans is squishing each other all the time,' the BFG said. 'They is shootling guns and going up in
aerioplanes to drop their bombs on each other's heads every week. Human beans is always killing other human beans.'

He was right. Of course he was right and Sophie knew it. She was beginning to wonder whether humans were actually any better than giants. 'Even so,' she said, defending her own race, I' think it's rotten that those foul giants should go off every night to eat humans. Humans have never done them any harm.'

'That is what the little piggy-wig is saying every day,' the BFG answered. 'He is saying, "I has never done any harm to the human bean so why should he be eating me?'"

'Oh dear,' Sophie said.

'The human beans is making rules to suit themselves,' the BFG went on. 'But the rules they is making do not suit the little piggy-wiggies. Am I right or left?'

'Right,' Sophie said.

'Giants is also making rules. Their rules is not suiting the human beans. Everybody is making his own rules to suit himself.”

- ROALD DAHL, The BFG

Sabar. Enjoy.

Alhamdulillah, terima berita ramai kenalan tengah berbadan dua.
Semua teruja. Rasa bahagia.

And then there's their expected impatience to meet this new addition of their growing family.

To this, my friends, I say;
Sabar.
Patience.

Enjoy the pregnancy.
Cherish every stretching inch. Every heartbeat scanned.
Every kick.
Persevere through the morning sickness.
The nausea. The acid reflux, heart burns, back aches.
From my experience, it will all be worth it.

And when the child is born, sabar.
Patience.
You have been preparing for your world to change, but your baby was "yanked" out of his "home" and into an unfamiliar world.
It is understandable that he wants to be held more than he wants to be in a lonely cot.
He is so used to hearing your heartbeat to lull him to sleep, so he wants to be in your arms more, closer to you - your smell, the rhythm of your heart.

Let him grow at his own pace.
Some babies move faster than others.
Others roll over earlier than some.
And some even walk before they crawl.
Cherish every tantrum. Every sleepless night.
Every time you need to change due to spit ups.
Every time they want to be held instead of being in the cot by their lonesome.
Persevere through their "terrible twos".
Their ways of testing and pushing your buttons.

Sabar. Cherish.

All too soon, they'll grow up.
And you cannot turn back time.
And you may have missed something so spectacular in their progress.
Document everything, although not necessarily share everything on Facebook, Instagram, etc.
Have albums upon albums of photos. Of scrapbooks.

Sabar. Cherish.

Another

Alhamdulillah.
Another year.
So blessed to have seen 27 years, praying for more in shaa Allah.

I took the Goodreads challenge for 2013.
To read 15 books.
I failed my 2012 challenge.
Pledged to read 10 books, only managed 9.
The number pledged is low because I'm being realistic.
I have a newborn and a 3 year old.
I'd be lucky to get to read at all.

And it's Colin Morgan's birthday.
Every new year should always be greeted by this gorgeous face.

Source [x]

Un-

Unfollow.
Unfriend.

When we were kids, for whatever trivial reasons,
"unfollow" and "unfriend" already existed.
A much more direct approach of "I don't want to friend you".

Sometimes you get what's coming to you.
More often than not, you don't know what you've done.

Hurts none the less.

Admittedly, we all have been the clicker of the "unfriend" and "unfollow" button,
for reasons that are our own.

Maybe the other person won't care.
Maybe they hurt like you.

For what it's worth, I apologize-
As the clicker of the button.
As the person who may have done something to merit the clicking of that button.

Reading List

Dear self,

These are the books who've yet to read. Please finish them first before you buy some more books.
Please.
Please.
Please.

Dear Husband,
You are an enabler. Your "It's ok. It's always good to buy books" and "You can never have too many books at a time" is NOT HELPING. I love you, though.

What do you want?

I dislike people who try to make me feel bad about being a homemaker.
I am not contributing to the family's finances, they said.
And I, too freely, spend my husband's hard earned money.

Correction, dear haters.
We don't have the mentality of "What's mine is mine, what's yours is yours".
We have a "This is ours" mentality.
"I work for you, for the boys", Husband would say.
And he's doing a mighty fine job, Alhamdulillah.
All payments made on time. We have no debts.
And we live comfortably.
Alhamdulillah.

When people suggest that I should try and work and that I can send the kids to a daycare,
I will jokingly (not really) say that if anyone is going to mess up my kids, it's best that it'd be me.
Even if it means no PSPs or Nike shoes for my boys. (I hope you can detect my sarcasm).
Husband always reassures me that I am needed at home more than any company out there, and that being home, I have the most difficult yet rewarding job.
He is the sweetest, and I love him for all that he is. :)

Equally, I dislike other homemakers who try and make working mothers feel bad about not being home to take care of their own kids.
Everyone has a different definition of "What is best for my kids".
Most of the time, it's financial.
And they're not wrong.
Everything is money-related nowadays.
Everything is expensive. Especially education.
If you're privileged enough to stay home and raise your own children, it's best you just be grateful without having to mount a high horse.

Our take on "What's best for our kids" is me being home.

We have what we have, and by Allah s.w.t., it is more than I can ever hope for.
Roof over our heads.
A comfortable means of transportation.
Never knowing what hunger feels like.
More than enough.

What more can I ever selfishly (material wealth) ask for?

Huff

Because some days, there aren't any words....
Yes, I allow myself to go off pouting like a little brat, albeit for 2 minutes.
Feels good!

If

"If" is a very poisonous word.
What if I did this differently, then maybe that would happen?
What if I hadn't gone there, then I wouldn't be in this mess?
What if?
What if?

The "then"s that come after the "if"s are just as poisonous.
A scenario that you'll never now can plague you like a cancer.

An accident renders a lot of "What if"s
What if we hadn't taken that road?
What if we'd gone the other way?
What if we didn't go at all?

If.
They are the devil's playthings.
Injecting you with self-doubt, or worse,
that you may doubt Him.

I take comfort in all that happens, there is a hikmah
Call me naive.
My faith is with Him.