Approvals

"Some would scoff and some would salute you. To consider what other people might say is hardly a good reason to take action or to defer it. You have your own life to live, Iris, and at its end, the only opinion that amounts to anything is that which God bestows."

- Luykas Schoonmaker @ The Master

"Approval and disapproval alike satisfy those who deliver it more than those who receive it. I don't care for approval, and I don't mind doing without."

- Caspar

GREGORY MAGUIRE, The Confessions of an Ugly Stepsister

Heinous

Earlier today, we went to the playground at my brother's house.
Took our son and our niece.

As usual, at the park, there are countless of mothers and maids with their children/charges.
So this one father pushing his daughter on the swing sticks out like a sore thumb.
I thought, "How nice of this father to take time off after work (because he was dressed in a striped shirt and slacks) and take his daughter to the playgroud? Not something you see very often. Good for him.

There's this two overweight girls playing at the playground too. Nice girls. Very polite. Always made sure that niece or son was clear from the slide before they came down it (unlike other kids who just power through, almost always semi-knocking niece/son down). Other kids stared. Must be hard to walk in those girls shoes. I felt for them.

Then, there was an opening at the swings, next to the father who was pushing his daughter. Took my son there and sat him next to the girl and her dad. Then, something heinous happened.

The father, attempting to make small talk or break the ice with me, made fun of the two overweight girls, claiming that they would be a nuisance to pry out should they get stuck in the covered slide.

I was so shocked. That was a horrible thing to say. Much less to a stranger, in the presence of your own child. What is he teaching his daughter? That it's ok to make fun of other children? I was so revolted but I also felt defensive. I said that they aren't that big for the slide and that there was more room down the slide than he thought. And that they are good girls.

He didn't try another attempt at small talk. I moved my son from the swings like that man was something so horribly diseased and contagious. Whatever awe or respect I had for that man or would've had, is now gone.

So gone.

Sparkle

In a marriage, or any relationship between two people, there is a need to maintain a certain sparkle.
Reason? It differs with each couple. However, the basis of it all is to feel something new, or a reprise of a familiar feeling.

Upon watching "Sex and the City 2", Big and Carrie discusses the idea of spending two days a week away from each other, to regain and maintain the "sparkle".

Some couples dread spending all their time, doing everything, with each other.
They dread growing into a certain pattern, day in and day out.
Hence the need to go out on "dates", like "the good old days", pre-children and other adult-like commitments.

Every couple has their own kind of marriage, their own norms and rules.
Some like to go on "date nights", just the two of them (life after kids).
Some like to stay home.

Us, we like to curl up in bed after our son is asleep and watch Dexter or Criminal Minds or The Vampire Diaries or 30 Rock or Chuck or Glee and we'd silently squeal or cry or laugh, all the time together.
Or
If it's on nights when Husband needs to work on his paper, I'd just read something Neil Gaiman, all the time together.

Because we like being together all the time. No point in making a face and saying, "Eee, tak boring/rimas/lemas ke?"

Everyone has their own kind of marriage/relationship.
And it's all for the sparkle.

Happy Birthday, Husband.

Alhamdulillah. Another birthday.
I shall borrow the words of Edgar Allan Poe to express my love, for you are my "Annabel Lee".

"But our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee."

Annabel Lee, 1849

This is the life

Raising a toddler is a busy task.
I count my blessings each day that I am very priviledged to be a stay-at-home mother.
Our son is learning so much and conveying all that he has learnt, experimenting this and that.

We had a little housewarming a while back, and are very fortunate to know so many wonderful people.
Every thing Husband and I cooked were wiped clean off the plates and pots, Alhamdulillah.
It was a success.
And seeing old friends and their new lives (post-school/university) is refreshing.
Especially ones with children.
Now our children play together.

Alhamdulillah. Life is grand.