My False Labour

July 4th.
3am.
Woken up by a sharp pain. Realised I was sweating from trying to withstand the pain in my sleep.
Yes.
Contractions.
The real kind.

Since I know the baby's not due yet, I decided to not wake Husband and freak him out.
Instead, I did some breathing exercises.
Solat.
I did the laundry (at 3:30am)
I cleaned the kitchen, cleared the dishes.
Walked around the house.
All in the effort to reduce the contraction pains.

By 4:30am, the contractions were less painful and infrequent.
I decided to go back to sleep.

At 6:30am, I woke up for Fajr prayers.
During prayers, the contractions started again.
After prayers I walked around the house again.
Did whatever chores I could do.
By 8am, I was exhausted and decided to sleep, again.

9:30am.
Woken up by another stream of painful contractions.
Glad that by this time, Husband and Son were already up.
So I decided to tell Husband that I think we need to go to the hospital.

At the hospital, I was sent to do a CTG;
to monitor baby's heartbeat and measure the contractions.
I had mild-to-strong contractions about 12 minutes apart.
Doc check whether I was dilating.
No. I was still closed.

Doc prescribed meds to stop the contractions for now, since baby is still preterm.
InsyaAllah will reach full term by Monday 9th July.
After that, I have to go back to the hospital to recheck the baby's progress.
If he's ready, and I'm ready, will deliver next week.

Dear Baby Adek,

Bonda knows you want to come out and join us. And play with your Abang.

We are very keen on meeting you too.

But it's okay to take your time, darling dear.

We'll be here, waiting, insyaAllah.

We love you.

Preparations

It seems that this pregnancy is flying by.
Alhamdulillah, safely in the third trimester now.
It's already May.

We have about 10 weeks to go, insyaAllah.

 

Preparations are underway.
I'm checking if everything is still working; breastpumps, bottle sterilisers, etc.
I've been washing some of Faris' old baby clothes, a little at a time.
The memories it brings. :)
And I cannot fathom that Faris was once that tiny.
He's growing up so fast.

There's a huge possibility that I may have to undergo Caesarian again,
if doctor finds that I am still a Group B streptococcus carrier.
Doc says just because I was a carrier when I was pregnant with Faris, I won't necessarily be one for this pregnancy.
However, to determine that, he'd have to run some tests when I reach Week 34 insyaAllah.

Praying for the best.
Safe.
Blessed.
Comfortable.

InsyaAllah.

Kickin'

Today, after fajr prayers, I tried to go back to sleep since Son was still sleeping.
Then, in the stillness of the early morning, I felt it.
Baby Adek's first kick.

Mild, but a definite "I'm here".

MasyaAllah.
You are the Greatest, Ya Rabb.
Thank you.

Expecting

Alhamdulillah, we have been blessed with another pregnancy.
A third. Second baby.
The miscarriage with Baby Peanut has left a little cloud of phobia surrounding this new pregnancy.
Alas, I surrender all to Allah s.w.t and work hard at taking care of myself and our new precious cargo.

At 8 weeks, Baby has a very strong heartbeat and has developed arms and legs.
Alhamdulillah, MasyaAllah.

My Husband and Son and other family members have been such a great support system and my source of strength.
InsyaAllah all will go well.
Praying for a lasting heartbeat,
and a happy, healthy and safe pregnancy.

Amin.

Grieving

Routine check-up for Baby Peanut on July 5th.
I feel fine.

Doc scans tummy.
I can see the baby, snug in the womb.
Doc measures the Crown to Romp length; estimated age is 8weeks +
First red flag.
Baby is supposed to be 10 weeks.

Doc uses a heat doppler.
Everything around the baby was red.
Another red flag.
There's no red dot near the chest.

My heart was racing.
I knew something was wrong.

Doc used the sound finder to detect the sound of baby's heartbeat.
Silence.

Then everything came crashing.

Our baby is gone.
Peanut is still inside me.
I don't feel any less pregnant.
But Peanut is gone.

There are no words.

Movement

My tummy moved.

I'm only 9 weeks in.
I didn't feel anything,
but I was standing under the shower and looking at the bump.
Then it just sort of, twitched.

It might me muscle.
It might be the stomach stretching to accomodate the growing baby.

Nevertheless. It was such a blissful thing.
:)

Confinement

When I was pregnant with Son, I hear all these horror stories about confinement.
How brutal it can be.
How horrible the food is.
How out-of-your-mind bored one can get.

Fast forward to after giving birth to Son.

I find that confinement is necessary.
Peaceful even.

When you get pregnant, your body and the insides expand multiple times its normal size.
When you give birth, or in my case, had an emergency Ceasarean, your body goes through a massive amount of trauma, whether you know/feel it or not.

Hence, confinement is necessary.

A strict diet must be followed.
I don't mind this at all.
It's the healthiest I've eaten in my life, that 44 days of confinement.
You need to have all the wounds on your inside to heal properly.
A good, balanced, healthy diet can help you recover better, faster.

No strenuous activities.
Good.
I need my rest with all the sleepless nights and all.
To tax the body more after the trauma its gone through may bring future discomfort.

Massages, at least 3 times before the end of the 44 days.
Spa at home.
What could be better?
Get all the "urat" straightened and all the "angin" out.

I am irritated when people call confinement a "backward tradition".
How is trying to heal properly for the sake of your health a tradition, let alone "backward"?
I say it's common sense.

I believe we have only this ONE body, and insyaAllah we'll be using it until our death.
If we don't take care of it, and something "breaks down", there is no "body shop" that sells spare parts.

So why not follow a strict confinement regime.
If you can think of "money" for "a better future", why can't you think of your health for the sake of the same?

Alhamdulillah, I am blessed to be able to follow such a regime because I have an amazing familial support system.
I understand that not everyone have the same priviledges i.e. single moms, staying alone (without mother/mother in law, helper), have elder children to take care of, etc., but to those who do, confinement can't hurt.

Anis

God-willing

InsyaAllah.
Doctor's appointment soon to confirm.
Grateful to Allah swt. Happy. Excited. Nervous.

InsyaAllah our Son will be a big brother.

One week passed

Doctor's appointment yesterday showed that Baby Ours is not ready to grace us just yet.
She says the baby hasn't turned to face the back and is still quite far up the cervix.
Honestly, we don't mind.
Only Allah s.w.t. and Baby Ours knows when it's the right time.
As anxious as we are, we are in no rush. :D
You can't rush a good thing, they say.
Plus, I love being pregnant.
Having a pouch with a baby inside that you carry around is amazing.

It's been really difficult to fall asleep at night lately, like tonight.
Or this wee hour of the morning.
Cake Mania 3 isn't helping.
The time I sleep most comfortably is after Subuh prayers.
I love Zzzzz.

The niece will be turning two this weekend, insyaAllah.
There'll be this elaborate party her parents are throwing.
Rented a jump-jump and ordered a customized balloon arch.
And a Minnie Mouse cake.
The party's theme is Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
Should be fun.

Niece can't talk yet.
She's taking her time.
She crawled and walked later than other "normal" toddlers.
But stop comparing her to your child(ren).
Children do not have default settings.

Stop gushing over Robert Pattinson in my face because you think Twilight is "cool".
It's not.
If you've read the series, you'll find (like most) that the author's story telling skills are *bluek*
(See! I can't even find the word(s) to describe it).
Only the first book of the series is readable.
Pattinson may be a good actor in his own right but not as Edward Cullen.
And DEFINITELY not as Cedric Diggory.
*Yes. I said it. Whatcha gonna do? Cry?*

If I correct your grammar or pronunciation, please don't take it as an insult.
I'm only trying to help where I can, to the best of my capabilities.
If you'd rather make a fool of yourself in the future, by all means.
I have nothing to lose.
Tone down the ego.

I don't see how having certain subjects in English would diminish the "wonders" of the mother tongue.
There are other ways to glorify your language.
Hindering progress through English-medium subjects is not one.
Our mother tongue has been butchered long ago by borrowed words and other sociolinguistic factors.
Have you watched any local television series (or even the news) lately?

Oh, the early morning randomness.
Anis/Bonda.

At April's end

Perut dah jatuh.
Doc kata baby dah in position nak enter cervix and into the birth canal.
She said by the looks of it;
insyaAllah seminggu dua lagi.
Check-ups dah start weekly.
*peluh, excited*

Husband scored grandly for final exams.
He's upset with one subject though.
That's because his standards are high.
But that's good.
Room for improvement in the future.
*Bonda and Baby Ours pats Ayahanda on the back*
Congratulations!

Sekarang, aku nak melantak makan apa saja.
Nanti mungkin berbulan-bulan tak boleh makan apa yang nak.
*otak overdrive pikir apa lagi nak makan*

Baby Shower for Baby Ours

The girlfriends threw Baby Ours a Baby Shower.
It was a surprise, in a way, because the suggestion came out of the blue.
Husband and I always wanted to throw a baby shower but it was always a bad time or something.
But Alhamdulillah, the baby shower they hosted was awesome.

Had some Subway (from the cousin's newly launched second branch here in Kota Damansara) and great laughs and conversations.
Banyak rezeki Baby Ours.
The aunts to-be bought him all sorts of stuff:


A Bumbo seat,
some clothes and a hat, a cute neck cushion, a pair of shoes,
keepsake albums,
a toddler Lego set,
and
an on-the-go bottle set. :D

Husband and I had a wonderful time.
Hope the aunts to-be did too.
Thank you very much.

Hugs for all the aunts to-be,
Matt, Anis & Knight.

Frust to the Bone

Husband took us to the hospital today.
Had a last minute appointment with the doctor.
The pain was getting unbearable.
Still can't walk properly.
And it's not because of the water retention in the feet.
That, has gone down.

Turns out that it's the pubis (bone).
Doctor said normally it's not a joint that moves about.
Like our knee caps and such.
But during pregnancy, this pubis becomes more relaxed (to make way for the baby come labour time) and as the belly gets heavier, it moves a little.
Rubbing against each other.
That rubbing against each other is causing the pain and my lack of mobility.

No medications for it.
I shall brave through this without drugs, insyaAllah.
Doctor advices plenty of rest, try not to walk so much but if walking is required - support the belly so that the weight won't cause too much pain.

All in all, everything is fine Alhamdulillah.
Baby Ours is healthy, Alhamdulillah.

Frust.
The Fisher-Price® Miracles and Milestones™ Pop Open Play Gym™ at RM199.90 is no longer available.
:...(
Really wanted it.
Oh well.

Frust.
Mother's leaving soon.
Marah.
Sedih.
Yes. I'm being a baby.
*sad*

Bonda/Anis

34th Week of Wonders

Alhamdulillah we've reached the 34th week.
Heading towards the end of month 8.
Two baby girls were born between April 2nd and the 7th.
Gorgeous.
With all these births, we are doubly excited to meet Baby Ours.
In due time, insyaAllah.

Stretch marks are more defined.
Husband loves them.
I do too.
A mark of a story to tell our children in the future, insyaAllah.

I ate something salty over the weekend.
Water retention started at the feet and it hurts!
The swelling makes the feet look so... weird.
Other factors are causing my mobility to be restricted.
Walking hurts.
Setting up at appointment with the doctor after Husband's exam.
Just to be safe.

Baby Ours' Aunty J called to ask what else we need for Baby Ours.
I told her we already have everything, Alhamdulillah.
She was adamant on getting him something.
So, I suggested something we wanted, but planning to buy when Baby Ours in older, insyaAllah.
A Bumbo seat.

Was browsing through baby stores for 3-6 months and above toys for Baby Ours.
Stumbled upon these:

LAMAZE Spin & Explore Garden Gym

It's lovely. Something for later, insyaAllah.
*Although methinks it's tad bit too girlish for Baby Ours
Babyjaya has it for RM150.
Not bad for a play gym when compared to the RM220-RM380 Fisher Price products.

We don't enter baby stores anymore.
Nothing much to see these days since we have all that we need.
Alhamdulillah.
Rezeki Baby Ours.

Hope the swelling goes down soon.
Hope to be able to walk properly soon.
Hope all will be well, InsyaAllah.

Anis.

A Late Night or Early Morning

It's almost 2am and we're still up.
Might be from the adrenaline of parents' arrival.
Plus, was majorly craving for a burger.
Now, Baby Ours is satisfied and has finally slept (I suppose).

Whilst accompanying Husband release the whole semester's weight off his shoulders via God of War, I suddenly find myself thinking about the baby stuff we've gotten.

Little did we know that there are some things we've overlooked.
1) Breastfeeding pillow
2) Bottle rack (for drying after being sterilised)

Thought we've gotten everything. Oh well, they'll have to wait for the end of the month, InsyaAllah.

Went to Cotton Picking yesterday afternoon to embroid Baby Ours' name on his blanket.
Turns out they only do embroidery on their own products.
Company policy.

So now I'm hunting for patchwork iron-on alphabets.
Then I can do it myself.

The problem is, I have no idea where to get those patches.
Help anyone?
Thanks.

Looking forward to sleeping.

Anis

Braxton-Hicks and 4D

This past week, the lower back hurts.
I feel immense pressure on the sides of the tummy and lower abdomen.
One night, I actually woke up due to a strong tummy spasm.
Husband and I were very concerned.

Paid a visit to the doctor's today.
Doctor said it's Braxton-Hicks contractions.
Normal at 8 months onwards.
Will feel more in the coming weeks.
Stronger ones even.
Like the body is practising for full labour.
Nothing to worry about.
Baby's just turning and rolling around.

*sigh of relief*

For a minute there I thought Baby Ours was coming into the world early.
But I timed the spasms/contractions.
It's always just 4-5 times in two days or so.

We saw Baby Ours in 4D imaging today.
My goodness, technology these days!
We actually saw our son in 4D.
It was like looking at a fish through the aquarium glass.
You can't touch it, but it's there - in the flesh. So vivid.

Baby Ours montel.
From the screenings, he has Bonda's chin. :D
And Ayahanda's forehead.
Gorgeous.

MasyaAllah.
Alhamdulillah.

Baby Ours is a miracle.
Subhanallah.

Bonda

Ticker states (x) days to go

Sixty.
Enam puluh.
60.

Eyes wide.
Heart smashing.

60 bersamaan dengan 2 bulan.
Bersamaan dengan 8 minggu.
Genap.

Ada enam puluh hari saja lagi?
Betul?
Mimpi?
Mungkin?

Ibunda kata mungkin kurang.
By 10 days -
Or so.
Jadinya, 50 ke?

Berdebar.
Excited.
Berdoa for all to go smoothly.

Hati melompat tidak sabar.
:D
InsyaAllah.

Bonda.

Forced Pedicure and Warm Showers

One of the "perks" of being pregnant is that the hugeness of the belly prevents you from bending forwards.
I cannot reach my toes, even when I'm sitting down.
Hence, I am "forced" to go for pedicures since I cannot cut my own toe nails.
:)


After her operation, Mother is suffering the same dilemma: cannot bend to cut own toe nails.
So the both of us indulged in a 45-minute pedicure over at The Nail Parlour @ Giant.
I didn't go all out on the spa pedicure (Mother did) because, since I'm pregnant, no excessive pressure should be applied to the soles of the feet.
It effects the womb, I think. Or something reflexology-related that can effect the baby.

Toe nails are now short, and shiny from the buffering.
*happy*

Husband bought Bonda and Baby Ours a water heater.
*YAY*
No more cold showers for Bonda that causes the stomach to tighten. We figured Baby Ours isn't too fond of the cold.
*Thank you Ayahanda*
Ayahanda got it for a very reasonable price (plus installation and wiring).
Early morning showers will never be the same again. :)

Bonda/Anis

The Third

Alhamdulillah...
Third trimester.
10 weeks to go.
Numbers are decreasing.
Excitement escalating.

Had first hospital visit yesterday.
Our previous doctor recommended this doctor. InsyaAllah, a good choice.
She's very meticulous, gentle and fun.
The first doctor to have the radio on during consultation and humming while scanning the baby.
Baby Ours was dancing, I think. He didn't stop kicking throughout consultation yesterday.

Went over the estimated hospital bill.
Admittedly, nothing comes cheap these days. But for safety and comfort, insyaAllah, there's no price to it.
InsyaAllah akan ada rezeki.
:)

We're advised to get everything ready and prepare for the arrival of Baby Ours now that we're in our third trimester (Already? Really? Still hasn't sunk in yet).
So far, we've packed the baby bag.
Will pack Bonda/Ayahanda overnight bags soon.
I need more kain batik!

All packed!

Anis/Bonda

شوكولاتة

Semalam aku mengidam chocolates.
Lots. Of. Chocolates.

Aku bukan peminat chocolates.
Teman-teman selalu kata aku pelik.
Katanya mereka tak pernah jumpa perempuan yang tak suka chocolates.
Bagus lah.
Aku bukan macam orang lain pun.
Aku ni aku.

Bukan tak suka.
Cuma tak minat.

Rasberry ripple ice cream trumps Chocolate ice cream any day.
Glazed donuts trumps Chocolate donuts.
Fresh milk trumps Chocolate milk.
Ricola Lemon gumdrops trumps a bar of chocolates.

Tapi semalam lain.
Tiba-tiba all I could think of was the big bar of Cadbury Black Forest chocolate.
So Husband pun bawak pergi Giant.
Shopping chocolate macam dunia ni akan kehabisan chocolate hari esoknya.

Mulanya nak beli Black Forest tu je.
Masuk aisle chocolate - gone.
Itu nak, ini nak.
Habis dekat nak RM30 kat chocolates je.
Bahaya mengidam ni.

Tapi puas.
Hari ni, sepulah kali sekejap bukak peti ais cubit makan chocolate.
*senyum*

Puas.

Anis

Sweet Blood?

I am 6 days shy of the 7th month of the pregnancy.
Since November, I've put on 10kgs.
Not bad when compared to the other women in my family.
Mother, when pregnant with me, put on 22kgs by the 9th month.

Doctor is slightly concerned about the weight gain.
Would want to be sure there's no pregnancy diabetes involved.
Checked Baby Ours.
Alhamdulillah, his growth is aligned with age/number of weeks pregnant,
therefore no signs of any diabetes.
Checked Bonda's wee-wee for excessive glucose.
Alhamdulillah, negative.

Since doctor still wanted to be sure, I had to go for a Glucose-tolerance blood test.
Fast from 10pm the night before, do the blood test at 10am the next morning.
Drink a carbonated glucose drink, that must be gulped within 15 minutes.
No food or drinks for the next two hours.
Exactly two hours after first blood test, do another blood test.

Both pits-of-elbow (is there such a term?) are accessorized with fancy plasters.

InsyaAllah all will be fine.
Will know results in a week.

I find comfort that when I rub my belly,
and there's pressure from underneath the skin where my hand is resting.
I feel that our son (insyaAllah) and I are holding hands.
:D
*Baby Ours kicked Ayahanda's face whilst Ayahanda was tickling the tummy with his mustache.
:D
Aah... the men in my life.

Husband and I have so much to be thankful for.
All to Allah s.w.t.
Alhamdulillah.

Anis