Ever thine. Ever mine. Ever ours.

Isn't it just crazy when you feel so many feelings and words just fail you?
Isn't it wonderful that you miss your husband even if he's next to you, possibly asleep?
Isn't it nice that the word "sex" seems vulgar because what you and your husband do is something more meaningful, never short of magical?
Isn't it just wonderfully nerve-wrecking that when he forgets to take out the trash, you can't stay annoyed for too long because of his amazing eyes that just drown you with love every time he looks at you?

Isn't it simply grand that we're married to each other, my Heart?
Isn't it great that Dearests will always be Dearests?
Isn't it mind-bogglingly awesome that we've never had a first date?
Isn't it wonderful that our first 'official' date was our wedding night?
Isn't it a joyous occasion that we rise to each other each morning?
Isn't it an indescribable happiness that I get to kiss your hand as you kiss my forehead every time after solat?

Isn't Allah s.w.t. Great that He has blessed us so?
Alhamdulillah. Masha Allah.

Yours.
Anis

Transformers... God's little boy inside - personified

Salaam all, and an Aloha do I shoudout from the recesses of the heart.

At the behest of the True Love, one finds himself dictating in meager words, the beauty of Transformers, and the subsequent emotions and thrills and passions stirred leading to the actual Transformers in the hand.

1. Know what to get

Any idiot can look at something and go "Fudge, nak la benda tu. Stim la tengok." A TRUE Transformers fan doesn't grab any and all products that he/she may behold, but rather assess the quality that the toy represents, and makes a judgement call form there.

2. Scout

Whence one knowst what to get, he/she shall commence the 'scouting' phase, in which certain/ uncertain POSSIBLE sites where said toy may begotten are visited AND FREQUENTED. Tak dak day, mana nak ada seribu Transformers beb!!!

Pardon the slang. Shaking with oozing delight.

3. Compare and contrast

When a specific toy is located, LOOK THROUGH ALL THE PRODUCTS!!! You never know what certain products may be missing e.g. dodgy paint job, disfiguration etc.

4. TUNGGU APA LAGI?! BELI LA!!!

What, you think the store associate is going to hand it to you just like that? Dak kot...

5. Play

Take the time to breath in the toy. Look at it. admire it. Talk to it. Feel the toy pulsing in your hands. And that's just form touching the box.

Now, you open the box. One likes to go slow. Tape off. A little tearing never hurt some (but get the heavens away from me, Devil man/woman!!!)

Once he/she is out, go to town. Want to play now.

Take care.

Matthekage

Lesson Learnt

Before the bliss that is the Soulmate, many go through a string of relationships. Like most, so did I. Sometimes it's as though you take hit after hit. Sometimes it feels like the relationship is a downward spiral but you're too 'comfortable' to do anything about it. And then there are times when you know you should walk out the door because the relationship is just not what it is anymore but you still stay believing that he/she can change (but deep down you know it'll never happen).

We were watching The Holiday, my Husband and I, and then Kate Winslet's character Iris, summed up our past relationship ordeals with this quote;

Iris: Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time she does something that tells you she's no good, you ignore it. And every time she comes through and surprises you, she wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that she's not for you.

And then, I was listening to Alicia Keys' "Lesson Learned" (feat. John Mayer);

You give it one more chance, Just like the time before,
But he already know you'll give a hundred more,
Until that night in bed you wake up in a sweat,
You're racing to the door,
Can't take it anymore.

The lyrics made me think if the writer(s) of The Holiday and Alicia Keys may have dated the same asshole. :D Sorry, bad joke. But in all seriousness, it affected us. And we later talked of things passed and how we learnt from/dealt with it.

Doesn't matter who. Doesn't matter when. All that matters is they're lessons learnt.

Yes, I was burned but I call it a lesson learned,
Anis

I'm fine, Thanks

Some acquaintances have voiced their disbelief of being a young wife. 'Young' in context here is possibly between 20-25 years old. They claim that people of the said age group are not mature enough to handle such a long-term commitment.

They also say the people from the said age group are missing out on the best things in life i.e. freedom to do what they want to do. This age group is also missing out on meeting new and possibly more exciting people than the ones they already know.

Basically, they are saying that people who marry young are missing out on getting intimate with different partners (not necessarily sexual) and going to parties that drag on to next Saturday.

If an argument comes up about the partying lifestyle will leave you lonely when the partying scene is less accommodating to a 47 year-old, they'll counter by saying "We'll always have our friends. Our friends are our soulmates. Not another man/woman."

Whatever floats your boat, friend.

I am 23 (will be next week, insyaAllah). I am married. And I'm fine, thanks.

I'm not one to say anything about "missing out". I feel that no one is missing out on anything if they are living the life they chose. When it's your choice for your life to be one way, how can you be missing out on something else e.g. the 'other' way that life should be lived (according to 'other people')? It's your choice.

This is mine.

Anis.

Farewell, teacher

Dr. Randy Pausch is an inspiration to millions. I am proud to be one of them. Strolling in Kinokuniya earlier this year and a chance stumble upon Dr. Pausch's book "The Last Lecture" in the stack about to be shelved has made a lot of difference in my life. The best purchase of my life as yet.

From him, I've learned so many things. To never give up even when you meet the proverbial "brick walls". To not care about money too much because time is more valuable. What's $16 compared to the extra 5 minutes you get with family? Yes. He thought me that. To let my future children paint their room (if they wanted to) or basically let them run with an idea, even if you think it's absurd. And definitely, to become the best parents we can be.

To love my husband fiercely, as he loved his wife, Jai and their children. That's the best lesson.

Our condolences to the Pausch household. Indeed someone great has passed, but never lost.

Rest well, Randy Pausch.

Anis & Matt

Fulfilling

Life where I am now is very fulfilling, Alhamdulillah. Spiritually, I'm not really there yet, but I am getting there, InsyaAllah.

On most days, when Husband is either at work (he is an English lecturer teaching Listening and Speaking skills. Yay! Just his forte) or at his Masters class (which ends late evenings), I get to do Housewife stuff.

Every other day I try to clean the house. The whole house. I cook late lunches and eat with my Husband when he comes home. When he goes off to class, I nap. Then I do the laundry. Folding. Ironing. Washing's in the morning.

Then... the second best highlight of the day, I get my Entourage fix. I need Ari Gold or else I get bored.

Highlight of any day and everyday, is when Husband comes home. Pillow-talking has never been so calming/therapeutic/a necessity to live.

Life is grand. You should try it.

__________________________________________

E: Where is Vince on that list?
Ari: He ain’t on the list.
E: Well, how do we get him on the list?
Ari: You do “Aquaman,” you stupid fuck!

Aah, Ari. You're my Hero!

Anis

Younger Generation

Ever noticed how pop stars and other celebrities are getting younger and younger? I don't mean anti-aging serum and botox fix. I mean, they start young. Really young.

Disney is the best at grooming these young "stars". Miley Cyrus. The Jonas Brothers. That "Camp Rock" actress, Demi. The "High School Musical" franchise. Seriously, there's a third installment? Talk about quality control gone astray on Disney's part.

Despite the age, they seem reasonably talented. And their stuff is addictive.

This new Miley Cyrus song, "7 Things". You can't help be drawn into it. Liking it to the point that it's an addiction. The song reminds me of high school. Times when there's always a boy in the mind. There's always the question of who you want to ask you to the year end jamuan as we Inaians call it. Prom is so overrated. Jamuan it is. Or conspiring with your BFFs on how to find out if the boy you like likes you. (Zalea, I miss and don't miss those times.)

Ah. High school. How come no one we know breaks into song and dance then?

Here's to the nights that we remember as "the night he almost kissed me", the times you cherished as "that's when he turned and looked straight at me" and those moments when he actually breaks your heart.

It was all worth it. Because you know what you know now. And you are who you are now. Thank you, High School years. And thank you Miley Cyrus, born Destiny Hope Cyrus, for reminding us of those moments - even if it was for a fleeting second. Life was good then. Some say it was a simpler time. But my life - where it we are now - is so awesome.

Anis

Blood

After a week of false alarm (pregnancy wise), the period came yesterday. We were late by a week and had already planned a Doctor's visit on Friday when Husband was free of classes and work. We were excited about being pregnant, but scared as well.

Now that we're not pregnant, we're neither sad nor relieved. We really believe and have faith that Allah s.w.t knows best. InsyaAllah ada rezeki. We'll definitely try again once the ovulation window opens. You know what they say, "If at first you don't succeed, try and try again."

Everything not only happens for a reason, but it happens for the best.

InsyaAllah. Soon.

Anis

Something for my Heart

I love you, Husband.

Anis.

Brick Walls

"The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want it badly enough. They're there to stop the other people" - Prof. Randy Pausch

A reminder and a mortal take that Allah s.w.t constantly challenges you, not so you can curl into fetus position and call it quits; but so you could rise to the occasion and remember to ask for His guidance and hidayah to help you overcome the brick walls - whatever form it may take.

And I mean, whatever form it may take.

Anis

To health

Trying to get pregnant is fun. You have so many things to look forward to. We're already foreseeing how we're going to re-arrange our room to make way for the baby cot, changing station and the baby's drawer for all his/her tiny clothes.

But...

First, I must be healthy. As of right now, I haven't been eating right. Been stuffing the self with whatever junk that comes my way and at the wrong times. Lately, we actually eat rice at night. That's a no-no. At least for me. I feel very heavy once I eat rice for dinner. However, rice for dinner around 6pm-ish is just nice.

I really don't want to be Kate Moss skinny. I'd like to be healthy and probably have the body of Scarlett Johanson's proportions. I like being busty. People pay a lot of money for a C cup. I'm born with it.

I was reading on Body Mass Index (BMI) today and my curiosity got the better of me. I started calculating my own BMI. For a person of my height, the normal, healthy range of BMI is between 18.5 and 25. I am a whopping 27.5 and that is NOT good. Reality check! I am overweight. That's not healthy.

I want to be healthy for myself, my husband and future babies (InsyaAllah). So, I have to discipline myself. Here's to a new regime. Although I still don't see myself jogging. Haiya, so lazy la. But, as far as the food consumption it concerned, it can be done insyaAllah.

Again, here's to the new regime.

Anis

Helpless

I felt so helpless. I couldn't stop crying. I didn't know what to do. I suppose if I did, I couldn't have done anything. I'm so sad.

Last night, I heard noises from the back alley. My husband heard it too. I normally don't think much of noises coming from the alley. It's usually just cats or the pak guard making their rounds. But last night, I was prompted to grab the keys and be a kepohci.

You have no idea how much I wished I hadn't.

My husband accompanied me along the dark alley. I saw Bunny-tail by a tembok. And I saw a familiar male cat scatter away. There was an old, abandoned door on the ground, left for the mushrooms to breed. Bunny-tail didn't look like her normal jovial self. Then, I heard tiny murmuring sounds.

That's when I saw Billy Madison (the cat). He was sprawled on the ground. I didn't know what to make of him. Instinct told me to carry him, but I decided against it. He was quite still, other than the murmuring. Then suddenly the screams started. Nothing I've ever heard from a cat. Billy started thrashing, as if in pain. I couldn't do anything. It was too late. Something had happened. And I couldn't help him. I couldn't.

My husband just hugged me and helped me back to the house. So many theories. So many what-ifs. Yet, I still feel helpless. I am helpless. But, I believe Billy Madison is in a better place.

Things like these, ones that make me sad and feel helpless, are the reason why I don't want to have anymore cats.

Anis

KL

Things have been less hectic this past week. The week both my parents were here, we were out almost everyday. There was always something to do. Although we still have here and there to run to almost on a daily basis, we managed to stay in last Thursday. It was relaxing.

We went shopping for some baby stuff for the cousin living in Kota Bharu. Pregnancy and bedrest do not go together. Poor thing. So, we went shopping for the stuff that she wanted. A cool 'thing' called Littlepods. Amazing what the people from the baby industry come up with. It's not just a sling. It's also the mommy's accessory. Fashion it up.

The sister in law's birthday was this past weekend. Had some amazing seafood. It's a place in KL city famous (or infamous) for its Shark's Fin Soup. I forbade anyone at the table to order it. "When the buying stops, the killing can too" is sound advice. And I'm sticking to it. We used to go there when I was younger. But then the place slacked off for a while but business has since picked up after 'Eye on Malaysia' was built. (Here's a thought. Why did they name it "Eye on Malaysia" when you can only see Kuala Lumpur. Shouldn't it be "KL Eye" or "Eye on KL"? They should fire their copy-writers or whoever came up with the name. Unless there's a valid explanation or meaning that we're not getting.)

KL Lights - Petronas Twin Towers (left), Eye on Malaysia, a tiny image of KL Tower and Istana Budaya.
Photo taken from across the lake at Taman Tasik Titiwangsa
5th July 2008

KL city is beautiful. Minus the idiotic political unrest or stance that has been rumbling about these past few weeks, I love Malaysia. It's beautiful. Especially the KL lights. People always yearn to see the Eiffel Tower or Venice during the Carnivale. Me. I'm happy with the lights of KL. At least here, I'm not the alien. I'm Malaysian. And it's breathtaking. However, given the chance to travel to France or Italy or anywhere else, I wouldn't pass it up. :P

Anis

The first of 3.

Conveyance

Salaam fellow live-ers, and aloha to all. May the Force shine on thoust's spectre of a playground today, whilst a star guided hands to pave the world with peace and joy, where Candy Canes volunteer their services as lamp posts, shining no two similar colours, all to see a smile becomes a Nile with an 's'.

One can dream. 1 shall look, keenly.

Proceed...

Matt.