Our Second

You know when there's a pool of something sweet on the kitchen counter, and it is unfortunate enough that there's a ring of ants surrounding it?
And then you disturb their nectar snack time and they scurry?
Ever notice how they scurry?
In every which direction. An organized panic, if you will.

That's what happened at 3pm-ish, Saturday, 21st July 2012, when the doctor ruptured my water bag and found that it's not the clear fluid that it's supposed to be, but green - like pea soup.

Doctor yelling instructions to nurses.
Nurses half running to get equipments, medication, etc.
And me -
I just laid there, instinctively one hand on my belly, trying to protect my baby from this chaos,
when the threat to him was already inside.

"Ceasar. Now!" was all I remembered the doctor half-yelling.
After that was just... buzzing.
Part of this tuning out was panic.

I was in labour.
Contractions were good.
Starting to dilate, albeit at a very slow rate.
But once the water bag broke, doctor informed me that baby had passed motion in the belly.
He didn't know how long it's been like that, but it was crucial for him to get the baby out, immediately.

Alhamdulillah, after my second emergency ceaser, our second son was born.

Faruq.
One with the ability to distinguish right from wrong.
3.06kgs

Due to the fact that whilst in the belly he already inhaled the contaminated amniotic fluids,
Faruq has been in an incubator since birth.
I haven't held him.
I haven't fed him.
Or kissed him.

This breaks my heart, but I have faith that this is Allah's plan.
This is the best for him, and the best for us.

Redha.
And with patience, insyaAllah, we'll have our boy soon.

My False Labour

July 4th.
3am.
Woken up by a sharp pain. Realised I was sweating from trying to withstand the pain in my sleep.
Yes.
Contractions.
The real kind.

Since I know the baby's not due yet, I decided to not wake Husband and freak him out.
Instead, I did some breathing exercises.
Solat.
I did the laundry (at 3:30am)
I cleaned the kitchen, cleared the dishes.
Walked around the house.
All in the effort to reduce the contraction pains.

By 4:30am, the contractions were less painful and infrequent.
I decided to go back to sleep.

At 6:30am, I woke up for Fajr prayers.
During prayers, the contractions started again.
After prayers I walked around the house again.
Did whatever chores I could do.
By 8am, I was exhausted and decided to sleep, again.

9:30am.
Woken up by another stream of painful contractions.
Glad that by this time, Husband and Son were already up.
So I decided to tell Husband that I think we need to go to the hospital.

At the hospital, I was sent to do a CTG;
to monitor baby's heartbeat and measure the contractions.
I had mild-to-strong contractions about 12 minutes apart.
Doc check whether I was dilating.
No. I was still closed.

Doc prescribed meds to stop the contractions for now, since baby is still preterm.
InsyaAllah will reach full term by Monday 9th July.
After that, I have to go back to the hospital to recheck the baby's progress.
If he's ready, and I'm ready, will deliver next week.

Dear Baby Adek,

Bonda knows you want to come out and join us. And play with your Abang.

We are very keen on meeting you too.

But it's okay to take your time, darling dear.

We'll be here, waiting, insyaAllah.

We love you.