The Past

A good friend and I were talking about the past. What we did? Who we were with? The whole deal. The past.

This topic kicked the brain into overdrive.

When we've done something, whatever it is, people always say... "No Regrets". But what if you do have regrets? Do you forgive, yourself and/or the other party? Do you squeeze your eyes tight that it may all disappear from the memory?

As for me, about 5 or 6 years ago, I grew up. Did some really stupid things. Was really stupid for letting people (or just one someone) do the negative psychological things that they did. I've wished for certain years to be erased from memory because it killed me. It was so bad for me. I felt hollow. I was constantly emotionally exhausted. I was dried up. And all of this became bad memories. I try to look for the bright side but dark clouds gather there, permanently. NO one really knows what I went through that 3 years except Allah s.w.t., my trusted pen and paper and my Dearest - who is now my husband and forever Dearest.

But the saying goes, there is always a hikmah behind all that happens, good or bad. Only Allah s.w.t knows what it is. And I believe it's true. Because as bad as it was for me, I found my husband. And all those negativity I weathered through was totally worth it.

I would gladly go through it all again without changing a single thing if it means I'll be living this exact moment with my husband.

The past. Is it all that bad?

A stronger me,
Anis